I would like to welcome everyone to the Winter Season of Texas Live and Ghostman on Third (GMOT)! As the new Editor of GMOT, and veteran WAKA kickballer from Florida Central, I hope to provide everyone ample entertainment to browse through for a laugh when bored at the office, and to get psyched up in time for Thursday’s games. I have no doubt that with the amount of creative minds, colorful writers, and absurd moments, this season’s GMOT will be a SUCCESS!
This blog-style GMOT is meant to encourage everyone to get involved! So I am counting on Captains to send me their write-ups each week by Monday at midnight (if not earlier) as well as any hysterical photos, embarassing moments, random observations, even video from the field, bar, etc…anything you want published! And since it is a blog, don’t be shy! Get on here and make comments. Rag on a teams’ poor display on field, call someone out for not showing up to the bars, “holler” at someone you’ve had your eye on. Feel free to join the discussions in GMOT!
That all being said, I hope you all enjoy and bear with me as I learn this thing called blogging.. And remember, I am counting on everyone to produce and document the most outlandish behavior to make this season’s GMOT, as well as Texas Live, notable throughout WAKA!
Your GMOT Editor,
Whats up Kickballers,
I’d like to welcome everyone to the Winter/Spring season of WAKA kickball. I would like to thank all the returning players for coming back and also the newbies for coming out to see what kickball is all about. So far it looks like we are going to have a great season with a good turn out at both the fields and bar. If for some weird reason you would have some sort of problem/complaint/compliment about the league, please feel free to find me at any of the fields or the bar and let me know.
If you are a returning player you’ve probably heard some of this before, but I need to address these issue so you can’t say I didn’t tell you, so:
*GAME TIMES: The city has informed us that its now an ordinance that the lights go off at 10pm. Due to the size of the league we are going to have to push games to start 15 minutes earlier than last week. Game times will be at 6:45, 7:30, 8:15 and 9pm. PLEASE, PLEASE be on time or we will run into last weeks issue. If a majority of the captains are ok with 6:30pm games, we will try and push them up even further.
*Please bring cups to drink you beer out of at the field and trash bags for the empty cans. The “Austin Commnunity Police” stopped by a few times last season and we don’t need any issues with them.
*Due to only having two fields the league should be able to provide refs for each game; however, please have one person available to ref the following game…just in case.
*We are out here to have fun, have some drinks and all that good stuff so please remember that ONLY THE CAPTAINS can confront the refs. Getting tossed from a kickball game only makes you look dumb.
*JOVITAS!!! Get your ass out there! Come play flipcup against the morons that beat you earlier in the evening, talk to the guy/girl you thought was like totally so hot (until you sobered up) or enjoy some of the food specials they have to offer. No matter how you look at it, its a win-win situation.
*If you take pictures at the games or at the bar, please feel free to email them to Lacy Rushin at firstname.lastname@example.org for the GMOT or you can post them on facebook on the league group page (Tx. Live- AustinWAKA 2009)
*Thats it, I’m tired of thinking so hard.
I look forward to seeing all you out there Thursday and playing the first real game. Good luck to everyone and have a hell of a week.
First of all, THANK YOU for an awesome showing at the bar. It was cold but y’all hung in there proving once again that come hell or high-water (or sub-50 degree weather), flip cup will go on. I really appreciate your enthusiasm, humor and patience as we get the show started with this. This week’s games were a little disorganized seeing as how it is a new season and there are many new teams and faces.
For all of you newbies, and for those oldies who get too BO’d to remember the rules, here they are:
Because of the timing of games, we are going to keep it consistent and you are going to play the team that you played on the field. We are going to have a few different ref’s so that if I have a late game, and your game was first, you don’t have to wait around all night. There will be a white board behind the table with the game order. After every pair of teams has matched up, I am more than happy to ref games for fun/bragging rights etc.
Your team needs a group of 5 players and everyone needs to supply their own beer (typically one beer – or drink – per person gets the job done… Joey/Jay/Ryan, govern yourselves accordingly). Games are best of 5 and I will go over the cheers/tap rule before each match up to remind you.
Starting next week I will be keeping score and we will have a tournament at the end of the season. Seeds for this are determined by season wins and losses. Ask Cereal Killers, FC is just as important, if not more so, than the actual games. If your team doesn’t show up, you forfeit and don’t get any points towards the tourney.
If you have any questions at all, please find me on the field or at the bar.
Thanks guys, it is going to be a great season and I look forward to getting to know you all!!
As most of you know, our darling Leah will be leaving us for a few weeks in order to learn the joys of organic farming. We are bummed to miss her this season but anxiously await big packages of produce and her homecoming later this year. With that said, Jen, Lacy and I will be stepping up and running the charity portion of WAKA for this season. The recipient of our fundraising for this season is an awesome, local, non-profit called Shoes for Austin (www.shoesforaustin.org). The organization helps to motivate underprivileged kids here in Austin to achieve physical fitness goals by providing them with the incentive of new, brand-name athletic shoes.
Because this ties in kids and sports, and is right here in Austin, we felt that it is the perfect charity for our league. Our goal this season is to raise $500. Each pair of shoes for the kids costs $20 (they have an arrangement with New Balance) so if we hit out goal, we will be able to provide 25 kids with new kicks. The really cool part is that we will get write ups on each of the kids that we help out, plus a little note from the boy or girl. I went to their office today and this was a note that the team shared with me from a recent recipient:
“Dear Shoes for Austin, Thank you for buying me and other kids shoes. It’s really going to help for running. I liked running club a lot because I feel stronger and I weigh less. Now I feel like I can beat anybody in a race. Thanks for supporting running club! –Lois”
We will be running little gimmicks at the games all season (selling jello shots, hosting buy-in beer pong tounaments, King of the Hill Flip Cup etc) so if you can bring a couple of dollars when possible, we would all greatly appreciate it. Let’s pull together and raise this money for the kiddos, it means the world to them!!
Thanks, and please find us with any questions!
~ Danielle, Jen and Lacy
Dunder ResERECTION – Rachelle McKinney
Goooood times! Huge props to folks on the capital league for exceeding our expectations as friendly and fun opponents. In the end, they beat us 6-0…but since it was “exhibition” none of that matters. Although we are still baffled by the bunt, we know its coming and may look to WAKA Shame as amiable offense coaches on dealing with such…”idiocracy”, sorry. Last time.
In the end, Cogina and Elicious Delicious went home with the Dundies- but our rookies looked SPECTACULAR: Ben, Ryan, Jonathan, Julie…cudos and may the good stuff keeeeeeep on comin! In fact, we are so awesome, word spread to West 6th Street- we should have 2-3 more team members this week! The end.
WAKA Shame – Ryan Logue
Considering the team is playing for its combined 4,437th season, we should of looked like we hadn’t missed a Thursday. Solid performance guys. We all looked beautiful and I would kiss you all from here if I could. I know ya’ll are still mad at me about the color, but deal with it. If they would have had an uglier one we would be wearing it, but thats obviously as ugly as WAKA gets (other than Cameron).
Walk of Shame — Andre Rodgers
Yeah soooo… Walks win. You can thank yours truly for that. *Note to the rest of the league* I can out-chug all of you. All of you. 😉 I’m the Kanye West of beer chugging. The Red Rockets found that out the hard way in our exhibition match.
Beware though, that team is really good and full of speed. We don’t really want to play you guys again. Good people. Good game.
There is another issue we must address though. If any of you see some team full of grown men and women walking around the field in neon green shirts, laugh at them. That team would be WakaShame. Yes everyone, “WakaShame”. This team name supposedly “originated” from our president, Ryan. Why he would decide to do this, none of us will ever know. Maybe he was drunk. Maybe he thought that our team wouldn’t play this season? My question isn’t, why…. My question to you, Mr. President, is do you think it’s ok? Was Smokin’ Bunts not good enough to keep? I mean I didn’t like it, but it was yours. It was ORIGINAL! And if you were going infringe upon our name, Dear God, please don’t do it and put your team in NEON GREEN!!! I mean what the hell is that?! Now people question me and say “Dre, is that your team over there glowing in the dark?” So now I have to defend my team against the fashion faux pas of the century… What have you done, sir? What have you done? Mr. President, on behalf of all things good in this world…
Change the name. Change. The. Name.
The Original Walk of Shame thanks you in advance.
RELAX & LET IT HAPPEN –Mark Meroney
The atmosphere was electric at Gillis Park last night. Opening night is typically the most outrageous but I think that Jay and Joey have taken our team to new heights of absurdity now that they are running the show for the Relax & Let it Happen franchise. The ’90’s era Chicago Bulls intro music woke the echoes but was immediately trumped by a full length recording of our National Anthem. Francis Scott Key was probably spinning in his grave.
Once the dust settled and the game finally started we were all very sluggish. Everyone is knocking off the rust from about a 10 week hiatus from kickball and it showed early with mental mistakes (I fouled out…no one will ever love me). All of our girls performed admirably in the field. Loso even stopped picking daisies out in left field long enough to make some stops and who could forget Renee’s celebratory dance after pegging someone out on the bounce? Or even better her sassy little shimmy after fouling off the first pitch of her kickball career. We were in a dogfight going into the 4th inning but then blew it wide open by batting around. I love hearing the Darth Vader theme twice in one inning and could not contain hysterical laughter every time Scott went to the plate serenaded by The Artist formerly known as Prince’s “Kiss.”
I’d like to challenge the other teams to use some intro music, it felt eerily quiet when we took the field. Kickball was meant to be played to a soundtrack.
YOU LOOK LIKE I NEED A DRINK: THE CHRONICLE BEGINS — Grant McClendon
Any unsuspecting person would likely assume that a newbie team would perform to only newbie expectations. And they would be absolutely right. Whilst we were proud with our play, there were a few key points we’d like to share with everyone so you can all know how much better we will be when we kick your team’s A$$.
First, Cameron is as blind as a dead Ray Charles. Too soon? Well, anyways, he’s blind. Not that we really have any grievances per say, I just want to call him out for being less than perfect. You know… take the guy down a notch or two. That lead to us running after way too many balls that were inevitably called foul, and thus, taking away from precious drinking time. Insert 😥 here.
Our second, and last flaw ever, would have to do with our chug off. Who does a chug off from a cup? Idiots, that’s who… And we were those idiots. And lost… miserably. If there is any lesson to be learned, it is that we should settle ties in female-only mud wrestling death matches. It’s the last true sport and the only competition this world still knows if you think about it.
All disheartened chaps were gleeful again in the end, however. As YLLINaD became victorious in our first flip cup match as a team. Not that any of us are surprised, drinking beer is like… actually, it is a second home for most of us. Being so… be ye forewarned, we are here and we are queer awesome! Glad to be a part of a group after our own heart. Kickin balls and takin’ names ass.
El Chupacabra — Lacy Rushin
They call us Newbies. Freshmeat. And “shouldn’t you be ‘la Chupacabra?’
But for a newly formed team, it’s looking like we have our fair share of Veteran players, skilled flip-cuppers, and lovers of this glorious game alike. We’ve got Austinites, Floridians, Michiganians, sibling Wisconsinites, Irish Jersey-wangsters (seriously, watch your backs)…and then there’s Raul, Scott and Super Dave! (As well as our no-show-no-word player, “Mitzie?” I have your shirt and will track you down!)
This season looks bright for the team named after goat blood-suckers. We started strong in the dirt field under the bright lights… Ryan’s veteran pitching skills fueled pop-flies that were snatched left and right by our able boys and badass girls. Some memorable moments were Adam continuously dominating first, Jesse diving and getting dirty and acting as a wall at third, and Sarah catching a fly ball using the expert combination of her head and chest. Towards the end of the game the runs tallied in thanks to Ryan, Jesse and Chris. But the most glorious moment was our own Mike Lusto solidifying our preseason win with a killer chug-off against YLLINAD.
So all we can say is, watch out for El Chupacabra—we’re without shots and rabid.
CEREAL KILLERS – Cameron Kushwara
It was tense. Beer was spilled. Balls were juggled. Folks scored. And it didn’t matter. It was an exhibition. It had as much credibility as W. But we’ll take it.
Fresh off the first ever Austin winless season, Tourettes washed their mouths out with soap and came up with a cleaner, more colorful agenda. The result? Their first victory of 2009, and for some of the veterans, their first victory in a long, LONG time. Gotta give some shout outs to some folks, both new and old.
Welcome back Josh and Pugsley. Besides the whole “being bad ass players” and all, you two definitely make us the “most tattooed team by a laughable margin.” Seriously, the rest of y’all have nothing on us. But Pugs would be happy to put something on you. Seriously, he’s great, if you need ink, he’s your man.
Jen McNabb, good stop of the ball. Next time, do that WITHOUT throwing your beer. The shriek was pretty cool too, keep that. Jenn told us you wouldn’t catch the ball, and then you did. Liar. Jen Hayes, just to complete the Jennifer trifecta, and the celebration was great.
Whitney dealing on the mound AND driving in runs. Geez, what do you even need your teammates for? Amy and Lisa drove runs in too, and scored, ooh la la.
Vivek and Zach teamed with Jennifer Cubed to rock Flip Cup too. That’s right, we don’t rebuild, we just reload. So bring it everyone. This year, we’re going to win on the fields AND at the bar.
Sex in the City – by Erika Vasquez
It was a great start to a season.. well maybe not so great considering we lost, but since our team is made up 99% rookies I think we did a fabulous job. Just wait to all of our team learns how to throw and catch a ball.. we will be a force to be reckoned with. Abby took the reins as co-captain, since Erika was late because she had one last rehearsal she had to attend before her starring role in the Vagina Monologues. Speaking of vajaja’s this is one hot team.. made up with over 12 sexy women. Our few men are lucky.. or will get lucky.. jk.. being on such a high energy team. We are all very excited to be in the league, and I believe we have a good mix of people who are good at kicball and flip cup. So this new team, with first time captian’s Erika and Abby are ready to help make this season fun, flirty.. cause we are about to bring Sexy Back into the game.
FREE BASERS – Marc Feder
After a hiatus of a few seasons, the core constituents of The Runs returned to WAKA this week. However this season under the title of a new double entendre…The Free Basers.
Game one was a great success. The beer was flowing and the laughs were loud. The seasoned veterans showed they still have what it takes, and the newbies came through with clutch plays when needed. All in all, a nearly flawless game, except for LG running away from first base instead of toward it after laying down a perfect bunt. And what’s a kickball game without a bloody knee and a nasty strawberry the next day. Way to go Gwin!
At the end of the night, The Free Basers emerged victorious thanks to solid contributions from all the fiends. An occasion truly worth celebrating. Who got the lighta’!
Kickball team staring at my ass last Thursday – b2w – 14 – (Gillis Field)
You: indiscernible mob of newbies, un-registrants, passerbyers and potential homeless people. Us: fantastic looking alcoholics standing roughly perpendicular. We wore fire-crotch orange. You wore… clothes (wtf!?).
We noticed you standing suspiciously far behind the base line – glancing either at the catcher’s ass, or Cameron’s package. It’s okay, we were trying to sneak a peak at your sugarlumps. Thought I sensed sparks… right before the transformer blew. The fates must have been smiling, because we like it better with the lights off.
We just got out of a relationship with off-seasonal affect disorder and muscular atrophy (f*$#er still has my CDs!!!) – not looking for anything too serious. Hope we can play again – loved grabbing your balls. It’s never too late…
* Location: TX Captial
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services (except of the escort variety) or other commercial interests (actually, ‘would love to chat about the e*trade baby)
To[ward] the window…
Failure to Submit Write up
Kids in Rehab would like to apologize for their failure to submit a write up for the GMOT this week. It wasn’t because we got beaten down on the fields and had our cleats handed to us. We did. It wasn’t because after the games, we adjourned to a nearby clearing and danced naked while howling at the moon and sacrificing babies to the great God Marduk. We absolutely did. No, it’s because we’re unliterate. Seriously. Stop laughing. All these lines and squiggles on the page? It’s kryptonite to our Superman. We’re paying some one-armed bum to write this out, and he’s laughing through his tooth at us. So between last week’s game and this week’s, we’ve gone to ACC and tried to get our learn on. Our next write up will be composed of three letter words like “dog” and “moo.” We don’t get to big words for another week.
Confessions of a Kickball Junkie
Hi, I’m Cameron and I have a problem. I have a pathological need to consume copious amounts of a singular substance while engaging in some sort of activity. I discovered this need when I was a teenager, and I started out like most kids do, I guess. Sunflower seeds and baseball. Hawaiian Punch and soccer. Mountain Dew and video games.
It, it just wasn’t enough though. I started, um, experimenting. I went pretty far out there, for both what I was using and what I was doing. At first I kept one thing pretty normal and tried to get crazy with the other. Olive oil and scrap booking. Cottage cheese and quilting. Gatorade and snake wrangling.
Then I got really out of control. I started using crazy things while doing crazy things. Eating Doritos while watching paint dry. Mainlining Pixie Stix and racing midgets. Snorting powdered sugar while prostituting myself. I was completely out of control, no direction, no ambition, just searching for that next thing.
I hit rock bottom in the fall of 2006. My friends found me under an overpass with a bunch of hobos. We were eating fried gerbils and playing chicken with shopping carts. They pushed over the cart and spilled the bum out onto the ground, ignoring his cry of pain. Then they grabbed me and bundled me into the car. We drove forever, passing several rehab clinics along the way.
Finally we stopped in this parking lot. And there, under the lights, I saw it. Eden. Nirvana. Paradise. All of them paled in comparison. The bright red kickball soaring through the night sky. The coolers full of beer. The people. The beer. The ball. My mouth gaped open. I had found my calling, like a necrophiliac working in a morgue.
I’ve been on kickball for over two years now. It gives me what I need. All the alcohol keeps me away from bad influences like fruits and vegetables. I still get tempted, sure. The other day I was thinking about eating a bag of marshmallows while ice-skating. But then I remembered that it was Wednesday, and kickball was less then 24 hours away.
See you Thursday the 26th for the OFFICIAL first game:)
Schedule for your convenience….
Week 1 Schedule
Tree- FREE BASERS VS. FUPA
Power- WALK OF SHAME VS. RED ROCKETS
Tree- YOU LOOK LIKE I NEED A DRINK VS. RELAX AND LET IT HAPPEN
Power- CEREAL KILLERS VS. DUNDER RESURECTION
Tree- WAKA SHAME VS. EL CHUPACABRA
Power- BALLS TOWARD THE WALL VS. BALLS DEEP
Tree- KIDS IN REHAB VS. SUGAR LUMPS
Power- SEX & THE CITY VS. SWEAT N BALLS