With week 1 in the books, and a great turnout at both the bar and fields, it looks like it is going to be quite a promising season. Teams got to beat up on other teams, some teams had to fight for their win and some got their first win in seasons. Just remember we are out here to have fun, drink some brew, and play some kickball. Once again, if you need to address any issue, please come find me on the field and I can take care of any problems. A few reminders:
- If you have players missing and need a sub then you must have approval from the other captain for the player to be able to play. If the captains can NOT agree on the subs, the team short players will be forced to forfeit. Yall can agree to play the game, but it not count if you want, but both teams must agree on the sub. The subs also must be REGISTERED league players. If this becomes an issue, come find me once again.
- As I said in last weeks letter, COPS!! As I assumed APD did show up last week for a little scare. Please make sure to bring cups and trashbags. If possible please try and put the ice chest in a duffle bag or some other way of disguising your drinks. If they do come again…I am not in charge. 🙂
- So far everyone has done pretty well with only letting the captains argue with the refs. But please Captains, let the refs do their jobs. Do not argue every little call, I would like to say we are professionals, but obviously not.
Anyways guys, I will see y’all on the fields tomorrow and look forward to some great games.
Flip Cup Friends,
Bravo for an awesome turn out at the bar this week. My Grinchy little heart grew three sizes with all of the enthusiasm for the real sporting event of the night. First of all, I want to apologize to the teams that did not get to play the opponent that they faced off against on the field. With some teams showing up late, I was unsure of who was showing up and who was being lame. Thankfully almost every team showed up… Eventually.
So, the way that we are going to do this is as follows… Please try and get to the bar relatively quickly after your game. We will start flip cup at 9pm and the order follows that of the games on the field. PLEASE look at the white board and see when you are up so that you are ready to go with beer. I feel like a moron chasing people around the bar so if your team is not there and ready to go, I am going to assume that you are forfeiting.
Okay, enough lecturing, now on to the fun stuff….
Following the moral conduct of many of y’all, it was a ‘Relax and Let it Happen’ kind of night. Giant props to Ashley and Renee who not only hung in with the boys, but pretty much schooled all of their opponents. Also, thank you to Hunter for yelling at me 10 million times for no reason. Awesome. Relax tore it up for about 10 rounds until WAKAShame aka Bunt Pirates finally knocked them off. Great job Jesus and co.
Another team to watch out for is El Chupacabre. Lacy’s crew came out strong, showing that a randomly assembled crew of goat suckers is not something to take lightly.
There is some concern regarding which cups to use…. Grant from You look like I need a drink has kindly offered his mom’s cotsco membership to remedy the issue so that we can all use the red solo cups without fear of picking up a VD. Thanks momma Z! If for whatever reason this does not happen, each team may want to designate someone to pick up a sleeve of solo cups, otherwise we play with the small bar cups.
Stats for week two and MVPs:
Free Basers v. FUPA – FUPA wins due to a no show by Free Basers.
Walk of Shame v. Red Rockets – Walk of Shame wins, RR was a no show. Lame. MVP = Andre for hooking the ref up with beer (thanks!!)
YLLINAD v. Relax and Let it Happen – Relax wins… Probably the first of 25 games of the night. MVP = I think all of you get some good love for your showing.
Cereal Killers v. Dunder ResErection – Dunder pulls out the win at the last second. MVP = Delicious Elicious. Please ask Delicious to show you her counter dance to the Relax Hurricane. It is amazing.
WAKA Shame v. El Chupacabre – Both teams get a win because timing was off. MVPS = Nicole ‘one flip’ and Lacy ‘I’ll play until you kick me off the table’
Balls toward the Wall v. Balls Deep – The orange team wins on a forfeit. Too many balls in this match up, I got confused. Orange gets the point.
Kids in Rehab v. Sugar Lumps – Sugar Lumps steals it, KIR was a no show. I really expect more from you, KIR.
Sex & the City v. Sweatin Balls – Both teams get a point… Timing was off and y’all both played against other teams.
Thanks again to everyone who hung out at the bar, this is one of the most fun parts of kickball and those of you who participated were awesome. People who bailed after the games, please clean it up and get to flip cup… We missed your pretty faces.
See you on Thursday!!
This week we are selling $1 jello shots to raise money for our charity. The weather is warm and the shots will be cold, please bring your dollar bills to help out the kiddies here in Austin.
Something startling has been brought to my attention…
Although the Freebasers scored 9 runs and allowed only 1 from the FUPAs, they were not imbibbing in adult beverages during the game. You heard right… no boozing… no suckin’ down on Grandpa’s old cough syrup… a dry team at a very wet game!! And to ice the cake, they were a NO SHOW at the bar. And as a cherry on top of that, they wrote NO writeup. (refer to “FreeBasers” down below for their welcomed, substitute entry.)
Well, Freebasers… I call your bluff. Do your miniscule kickball skills require you to stay sober during your game?? Does the thought of flipcup make the boys tremble in fear??
I challenge your team to give in to the kickball powers that be. This next game, on Thursday, the 5th of March, find the cute blond Danielle, pull some ones outta your pockets (no this isn’t going where you think..), and buy your team a round of Jello-O shots. It’s for a good cause.
Oh yeah, and we’ll see you at the bar.
–Your GMOT Editor, Lacy
Stats as of Week 1
Starting from the top….
Relax and Let It Happen
Finally, a game that mattered! We had technical difficulties with our boom box which could have given us an excuse to come out flat and disinterested. However, you don’t just roll out of bed in the morning and become back to back motherf&%$ing champs so the intensity level was never an issue for our team. Hunter and Justin did their flash and dash routine staking us to an early 2-0 lead that held up due to some sharp mental execution on the field and a few timely catches in the outfield by Big Stacy. The only disturbing trend is that our girls are dropping like flies. Ashley went down with what appeared to be a quad strain, she is tentatively listed as day to day and could ultimately be put on the 15 day disabled list. This goes on top of Carolyn blowing out her knee skiing and Nancy being out with an undisclosed illness. We may have to develop a farm system. Special thanks to Claire for helping us out, she may just have to find a permanent role with us.
At Jovita’s we displayed our usual dominance during official team flip cup play. Renee (a.k.a. “Sienna”) has managed to teach every other member of the flip cup team how she “moves her body like a cyclone” and so there was all sorts of commotion by the table whenever we were up (love the enthusiasm Renee). I do believe we took a few losses in exhibition play, so we will work out those kinks undoubtedly, but it’s also good to help them to remain humble and hungry to defend our flip cup championship. Apparently the highlight of the night was Hunter pushing Jay to the ground in the heat of the moment which I really wish I would have seen.
I bet there are so many people in this league who would jump at the opportunity to push Jay to the ground…
Kids in Rehab takes a W from the Sugarlumps.
Top ‘O the morning to ya laddies!
Good way to start the season off! Jason started us off with kicking a 2 run home run leading his lady, Kim to home. Which she also took charge and ROCKED 2nd base taking 3 outs in one inning! Carrie is a little bit jealous the “Jon and Carrie” show was interrupted with all the action going to Kim. Not to worry, Drew swooped in like a knight in shining armor and gave her some action to satisfy her need to touch the ball.
Newcomer, Jeff aka Schage showed his talent and came out of nowhere for a great catch in LC, and Robert – nothing can stop him. Like a well oil machine…Kids are back and ready to play. Our defense played great and held those Sugarlumps to zero. Minnie was on fire due to her pregame consumption of ‘ritas and got on base with all toes in tact.
“Walk of Shame….you’re going down!!!”
The Yerrow Menace & French dude
At the Freebasers team practice…
Captain: “Alright y’all, good work. Little sloppy turning the double plays, so lets go ahead and run some laps and do 200 pushups…”
(Team gasps, points)
“Holy crap, it’s Devon!”
“That’s impossible, he moved away!”
“Maybe it’s his ghost!”
“Yeah, his kickball ghost!”
Devon: “I am Devon’s spirit. And I’m back because of the state of the team.”
Team: “What do you mean, we rocked it out last week.”
Devon: “But you didn’t submit a write up.”
Team: “Well, we kinda got busy and…”
Devon: “SILENCE! You were BUSY? I went all over South America. I climbed ancient ruins. I smoked the finest grass. I did things with the natives that are illegal in this country AND Thailand. But y’all were BUSY?”
Team: (Shuffles feet, looks at the ground) “Um, well, maybe next week we’ll put something together…”
Devon: “See that you do. Gloat about the win, call out folks who played well. And y’all should head to the bar too, for more gloating and Flip Cup, damnit! Remember, if you don’t show up or submit, they’re going to make something up about you!
Team: “Okay Devon, thanks for setting us straight.”
Devon: “Now drop and give me 20!”
WAKA Shame Bunt Pirates
So its 10:38 and approx. 27 minutes ago I got a call from Lacy saying I didnt have my write up in. So I sat back and thought, who the hell did I assign to write our team write up this week? Thats right, Mr. Kealey. He even forgot after multiple reminders. So here is what I have to say about last week: I was WAY too sober, defense was spectacular, NO ONE can get it passed our infield, and our ladies are second to none in the league. Here is what I am thinking for next week: Our infield is going to stomp them, our opponents won’t have the huevos to play fast pitch, I may not remember Jovitas Friday morning or at anypoint after that, and the kickball version on Jesus will smoke 1/2 a pack of smokes during the game (second 1/2 at the bar). I will also buy ANY team who beats Relax and Let it Happen a handle of Jack Daniels.
The Red Rockets
I’m our GMOT and I wasn’t at the game because I was out having knee surgery last week. I heard The Red Rockets were victorious 3 to 2 though. I know some players were sporting some nice red sweat bands and one player wore a wig that may have given us the extra boost we needed to bring in the winning run. Apparently, there was one disagreement involving a wide base runner and if the short stop stood in his running path or not but I think the referee determined he wasn’t in his path, I’m not really sure of all the details of this kickball controversy. We were glad to get a win in our first game though and are looking forward to game two as we have signed on a couple more players and plan to add a little more flare to our uniforms.
I heard it through the Grapevine. That’s my only choice here. I wasn’t there for the thrilling 4-3 victory for the Cereal Killers, and rather than making something up, I stayed sober (er) and listened to the gossip at the bar and then translated it into English.
Gossip: “That was a weird, tattooed octopus they had in the field man. It freaking caught everything. Those eight arms sure help.”
English: Josh made a ton of plays all over the infield.
Gossip: “That dude in the outfield? Party animal. Home boy takes care of his sh!t.”
English: Vivek made great catches, AFTER putting down his beer and not spilling any.
Gossip: “Damn, I thought that hot chick out at 2nd was going to drop that one!”
English: Jenn made another nice catch.
Gossip: “That lady at 3rd, man, she was like the Berlin Wall.”
English: Actually, that makes sense; Lisa catches anything kicked at her.
Gossip: “Crap, we almost, ALMOST had that tying run! So close!”
English: Whitney and Jen Hayes made a play at the plate to preserve the lead.
Gossip: “That bald guy, man, he drove in like 17 runs. He freaking was their offense.”
English: Rick kicked a grand slam, and did indeed drive in all four of our runs.
So there you have it. Great defense, timely offense, and a W. Pretty much the exact opposite of what we did last season. All it took was a complete reinventing. Next week, I’ll be there to see it live, so I won’t need the gossip. But just for the hell of it, I’ll make up next week’s write up.
I’m sure our whole team is wishing that the exposition game win counted right about now.. But for having our asses handed to us by the Butt Pirates, we were remarkably unshaken. (Yes, Ryan I still owe you a beer..)
El Chupacabra practiced. We researched. We got pointers from ex-WAKA Shame players… (my lips are sealed.) In the end we couldn’t trump their defense, and all I can say is, “damn the bunts.”
Two memorable moments in particular stand out right now: a. our Ryan taking advantage of the windstorm and wailing that red ball right outta our field of play and into the practice field. By which scoring our 1 run. If only we had runners on bases… and b. The grand entrance of Chupa’s new player referred to as Drew #2. The look of his face in the outfield as a high ball soared down to him… The kickball Gods hadn’t called on him all game. There was silence. The angry wind even paused with anxiousness. Would he catch it? On the outside he looks dependable, sturdy.. as if a ball would never trump him. Well, if only he wasn’t on Xanex and a 6-pack….
Nothing puts a loss on the field out of your mind though like winning a few games of flip-cup!! WAY TO GO GUYS! Too bad the Blunt Pirates were too busy and didn’t show for awhile…
Next game: we will have our chant down and solid. Maybe even inject Drew #1 with rabies to get that frothy, foamy mouth effect going on and really intimidate our opposition… and then some. Thanks to Scott for reffing:)
YOU LOOK LIKE I NEED A DRINK
I’m sure I’ll get chastised later for writing this review late, its 9:00 Monday morning.
I have a valid excuse though… stitches. See, I’ve never been too fond of getting beaten to a bloody pulp and the scars are just too much of a reminder of the beat down we received last week at kickball.
Relax and let it happen might as well have been Russell Crowe throwing his sword into the mesmerized crowd and yelling “are you not entertained?” Their calm and cool confidence made at least two of our guys piss themselves in the outfield. Now, I know that confidence is essential in any team sport and, as the Captain, perhaps I should have instilled more in my team. However, when you see a 100 oz beer mug accompanied by 11 of these polished and steeled competitors, you feel a bit like its freshman year in high school and you got a zit with it’s own zip code located ever so perfectly upon your greasy forehead.
We lost, 5-0.. or was it 6-0? Who knows… You see, this data is fuzzy since the flip cup results were equally as devastating to our team’s ego. Lost in three. I must have adopted an addiction to crack before the game and the bar because “Captain Shaky Hands” was little no help to his team.
Congrats, Relax and let it happen, you beat up the kids on the short bus. We’ll be back though. Sticks and stones may break our bones but words make me cry alone in my shower… at night… with aroma therapy candles… and Enya.
Yes, the FUPAs did take second place in our game last night, but the Free Basers were so ‘skerred’ of us they didn’t show for flip cup afterwards. Yes, granted we have many more years experience with imbibing adult beverages, but we would have taken that into account : ) Also we noticed that this youthful team was (in our opinion of nickel worthiness) were not partaking in any adult beverages during our game…is that in direct violation of the kickball rules? : )
The captain would like to give a shout out to my sancho for kicking his first homerun of this season!
O Captain, My captain,