Thank you for a very solid turn out at the bar. After a two week hiatus (damn you work), it was wonderful to see your lovely, if not a little sloppy, faces. Thank you again to my fabulous co-refs, Elicious, Jen and Lacy for stepping up in my absence.
Stats for this week:
Relax v. Balls to the Wall: Relax wins. I missed this match up but I saw some Relax action in later games so I can only imagine.
Sex and the City v. Balls Deep: SATC scores! This team also came out huge for charity this week. Bravo to you!!
Waka Shame v. KIR: Waka gets a point. Even Steve’s return couldn’t help the kids.
Freebasers aka SuperLame v. Sugar Lumps: Yey for Sugar Lumps!
Fupa v. Chupa: This team was still partying with their keg when we left the fields at 9pm. There was a lot of talk of kegstands and the costumes were amazing so I give you both a point, and a huge amount of respect.
Dunder v. Walk of Shame: DUUUUUNDER. Nice work!
Cereal Killers v. Sweatn Balls: The Jen trifecta was in full effect sweeping a win for McNabb’s birthday!
Red Rockets v. YLLINAD: You look like….. You look like you win!
Again, you all rock!! This week we actually sold out before the first game was even over! Lesson learned, I will double the recipe so that those playing the later games don’t miss out. Thanks again, I think we are pretty close to hitting out season goal of $300 which is awesome considering we still have quite a few games as well as a tournament to get through. Do we think we can hit $500?? Mixing it up this week with a little Malibu… Find me and Lacy on Thursday…
What’s Friday without a killer kickball hangover?!
Where’s your writeup Rock?? I’m too busy to remind you and have no mercy at the moment. Yes, Freebasers will forever be on this list until they show to Jovita’s and try to be social with the rest of the league.. But really, step it up Prez!!
That is all. On to the fun stuff…
Relax triples their runs allowed… and still wins by eight. You Look Like I Need a Drink and Balls Deep continue their winning ways and FUPA gets Chupacabraed.
Great guest quote from an actual team this week: “Another ‘W’ in the win column!” Um, what?
1. Relax and Let it Happen. “Someone needs to win the bottle of whiskey on the line [bounty for beating Relax.]” “Six runs allowed in five games = impressive.”
2. Walk of Shame. “Andre’s practices three times a week seem to be working.” “Three wins by one run? I thought good teams blew people out?”
3. Cereal Killers. “Cam’s team at #3? I call BS.” “Fruit Loops must have steroids in it.”
4. El Chupacabra. “Solid ‘D’ and their wench is an ultra hottie.” “We’ll see if it keeps going their way [playing Freebasers this week].”
5. WAKA Shame. “Nice recovery after getting brutalized by Relax.” “I smell another letdown against a good and desperate Sugar Lumps team.”
6. Freebasers. “Bunting IS their bag, baby.” “Baby got bunt.”
7. You Look Like I Need a Drink. “Shut out the Rockets, guess they don’t like dog penises either.” “Three straight, look out for these guys and dolls.”
8. Red Rockets. “They need to stand up and scream something absurd, make a name for themselves, SOMETHING.” “Good game this week [v. Cereal Killers] we’ll get to see which team is for real.”
9. Balls Deep. [classic debate offense v. defense] “Has anyone on this team even kicked the ball deep? 16 runs in five games?” “Ten runs allowed, 2nd best in the league. If defense really DOES win championships, look out.”
10. Balls Toward the Wall. “Credit for giving Relax their best game of the year.” “I’m going to blame that one on Josh being out, he’s worth at least five runs.”
11. Kids in Rehab. “Have they had a full team once this year?” “Was that a ghost pitching for them?”
12. Dunder ResERECTION. “Their first base person is a crazy woman.” “My personal favorite team and darkhorse for the playoffs.”
13. FUPA’s. “The dream matchup was their worst nightmare.” “Those costumes were freaking amazing. And disturbing [Eric.]”
14. Sugar Lumps. “They take their lumps then drink.” “These folks and Sex are proud and are going to beat someone down before the season is out.”
15. Sex and the City. “There is more to modeling than just being ridiculously good looking.” “Calling it right now, they get their first W this week over Sweat n Balls.”
16. Sweat and Balls. “Great six innings against Cereal Killers, then rolled craps.” “That defense has tightened up the last two weeks.”
And now for the actual rankings…
Relax and Let It Happen
For the first time in my kickball career, I took the field without the accompaniment of Jay Russell. He had to miss the game to catch a Jonas Brothers concert I think, not totally sure though just know it was something along those lines. Anyways, I took the mound with my contrasting style, working quickly and quietly. After a ROCKY first inning where “we” (I) allowed more runs than we had allowed so far this season, we found our groove when Smashley and Cyclone decided to join the party so we could field a full defensive lineup. The most memorable play of the game had to be Joey kicking the ball what seemed like 250 feet on the fly with a slight fade and a helping wind (some Masters talk for you). It was majestic to say the least, I think he could have cartwheeled from 3rd to home and been safe by ten seconds. Next I would like to acknowledge Chris for his dastardly base-running with zero remorse. It is rare that someone scores and our teammates withhold high fives from them but you never know when it is going to be the difference-making-play in the game.
Flip cup was a return to glory for us. We made quick work of our opponents by winning three straight and when I left the bar I believe we were still teaching lessons at the table. Looks like everyone finally had enough of getting punked. Speaking of getting punked, I got punked by a red snapper shot. This oak pollen has produced a hell of a cough so anything I try to drink or inhale quickly results in a hearty cough, like the kind that might send red snapper liquid all over my teammates at Jovita’s. Rest assured, there was no vomit (not that I am above it but just want to be clear here) involved but I still apologize for my party foul. Also, in case the rest of the league doesn’t know I will let you in on a little secret: chicks DIG shouting matches about college football in April, trust me about 10% of the time…it works every time.
While Dunder will focus on their domination of Shame in flip cup, we will address kickball where we are seemingly the second-best thing going today. To be fair, the resERECTION was a real stiff test (no pun intended). They will shock some people in the playoffs. You heard it here first. About the flip cup game… we need more veteran participation. When our lineup is at optimal strength, Dunder stands no chance. But when you throw in the two rookies and a first-time flip cup player (Mizzy this is the excuse we are making up for you), miracles can happen. I guess the sun does shine on a dog’s ass every now and again.
Anyway, this week was pretty bad for Shame. No real MVP to speak of… Yeah, like none at all. HOWEVER, we do have an LVP! Our Least Valuable Player this week goes to Chris Sobremonte! You missed kickball for tennis. May God have mercy on your soul. Your lack of being in the outfield almost cost us the game, you freaking slimeball. All your fault. Speaking of… LVP Honorable Mention goes to Chris H’s defense in the outfield… Were you drunk out there? Wow. I’ll blame it on the alcohol.
Balls Deep (the artists formerly known as Soul Train) has a lot of payback coming their way after their upset of the century against us last season in the playoffs. Last season was a fluke. (Refer to picture above….) Walks will win 6-2.
In a word? Epic.
Epic all around. The costumed game of kickball was a blast any way you slice it. Thanks to the FUPAs for an excellent idea and for hauling in a keg of DosEquis! Muchas gracias, we owe you plenty of beers. (After 3 kegstands I was too drunk to give you my money.. someone remind me I’m not in college anymore!..)
Now for something completely different..
“Chupa the FUPA” Superlatives:
Most creative costume: Gotta be a three-way-tie between the Steinbacher siblings and Kate really.. GREAT costumes. Adam’s Mad Scientist gets extra points for including consumable & alcoholic, green mystery fluid in a test tube! And Sarah’s “Frodo Lives” number was outstanding!
Hottest costume: Hands down. Amanda, our Beer Wench. You scored wearing a bustier!!
Best use of costume: Tie between Lusto with his gripping Mario hands, and Drewzilla using his Wolverine hand-blades(?) to scratch Ryan’s back..
Most shocking costume: Dos. We were all surprised when he stripped off his pressed Polo and Dockers to reveal Princess Toadstool herself. Classy!
Most misunderstood costume: Kate Talbot, the Black Eyed Pea. (Andre from Walks thought she was a dalmation..?!)
Notable mentions: Old school Chris and the funky ‘fro! Jesse’s last minute Christmas bear shoved in his pants.. whats new? Ryan’s fried chicken accessory, which made it all the way to home! Our Mexican soccer player Scott kicked ass! Plus all the fantastic costumes of the FUPAs–too many to mention!–but Best in Show, hands down, was Lisa 🙂
BRAVO to everyone for dressing up! Awesome game. Other than that, I’ll let the pictures tell the rest..
This week: We take on the Freebasers.. At least we can look forward to another flip cup win!
A very wise kickballer once told me “it doesn’t matter if you win or lose, its how you celebrate!” After an impressive start to the season the only good thing the Red Rockets tallied last Thursday was the number of beers and Tequila shots we drank.
8-Ball, something us Freebasers are quite familiar with, is exactly what we were working with this past Thurs as we strung out a strong win. With half the team hunting down the the mystical Easter Bunny, a posse of 8 was all we had in our stash. Everyone got a piece of the action as the Freebasers smoked the competition.
Blunts and bunts forever – who got the lighta.
Before I get to the exploits of our team, I need to write a retraction. Last week, I wrote about how our squad valiantly battled a bunch of Cougars while I was away. I would like to amend that. On April 9th, the Cereal Killers forged a hard fought tie with a bunch of hot PUMAS and BOBCATS, not Cougars. Thank you.
Now, onto the happenings. To the eight brave souls from Sweat n’ Balls: Hell of a game. Y’all were all over the place on defense, you scored your runs legit, and you made us earn everything. Good game and y’all made us sweat.
Whole team defensive effort, truly. Twice they had the winning runs on in the 5th and 6th, and we escaped and let our offense have a chance. Really, everyone made the plays they should have made, error-free night, I’m proud.
On offense, we finally got it going in the 7th. To get us there, Neal drove one in and scored the tying run on Josh’s ball. Then Neal drove in the game winner on a perfectly placed 9 iron. Jenn Suchon had a perfect kick to keep the rally going. Josh and Amy and Whitney and Jen McNabb kept it going in the 7th and Rick closed it out. Jen scored again, two weeks running, and she told me that kickball made it her best birthday ever.
Last but not least, a long overdue shout out for our Flip Cuppers. Undefeated last year, almost completely new team this year, and only one loss. On Thursday, Jen H, Jen M, Jenn, Vivek and Rick dominated Relax and Let it Happen. Like 3-0, 3-0. Don’t give me that crap about your team not being there, you showed up and you got smoked. Deal with it.
Kids In Rehab
Dear TX Capital Teams,
On Thursday it appeared that all the members of YLLINAD had just escaped from the sober house and were going on a binder worthy of a Mel Gibson break down. Apparently we have found that our winning is directly correlated to our intoxication, so we have upped the booze intake with glorious results. I’m not going to lie… I’m a little scared about the next few games. Scared in a “first-time-playing-7 minutes-in-heaven” way though… so its all good.
The Red Rockets Fake Red Team were amongst the coolest peeps we have encountered to date in our virgin mission into WakaLand. I’m trying to remember what actually happened during the game. I know we deciding that simply beating our opponents to the bag was lame and started working on unnecessary “beaming.” Greg and Jules took matters into their own hands and Jules even scored a single-handed double play. Our captain, some asshole, yelled at the pitcher to slow down the pitches, only to have her later walk someone and deserve every bit of yelling she received. Literally one mental flash later, game is over, we came on strong late again, and after some controversy over a call…. What’s that??? WINNING STREAK, BITCHES!
Our commitment to the devil juice continued at the bar. We were ready to rock when flip cup started. Greg can’t remember to tap his cup, I’m slowly getting an aneurysm with that thought running constantly through my already nimble brain. Adam is taking forever and just gives up. All is redeemed when we win in stunning fashion and I try not to fall over.
Great times, Great Sport, One life shower later and it was Friday morning.
OK, from now on when we win the toss we’re going to take Visitors… we lost this game in the first half of the first inning because we weren’t paying attention. Maybe 8:00 is too late for us? Maybe we’re all just too old, and we can’t go from zero to kickball in five seconds? Maybe we need to introduce ritualistic spanking to wake everybody up? I’m open to suggestions. VERY open.
After we let them just keep running the freaking bases and score two runs, we woke up and started playing really well. Our offense was MUCH improved from last week, mixing it up and getting on base – Tim as always came through with the scoring crusher. Defense was pretty tight – E’Lois rocked first base, good to have Mendoza at 2nd again, Felipe’s pitching looked nice and bouncy this week. Sadly, no toddlers for Jonathan to save this week. Maybe next week.
So a 3-2 loss, but we played well against a good team, had fun and earned some redemption with a 3-1 flipcup win oh yeah!!!
1 jug of Sangria. 4 hot Tecates. 1 tub of lime sherbert.
In our drunken kegstandin’ fog, the FUPAcabras think we hazily remember we took 2nd in our game vs. the Cupacabras last Thursday. And with less than a gallon left in our keg…hiccup, burp, we went over to Jovitas to continue the debauchery! And to all of those who did not show for the game or Jovitas and for those of us who did but don’t remember…please enjoy the evidence of a damn good time!
Sex & the City
Great week everyone!!
See you Thursday!!