WAKA Live – Week 8


With the last week of games (no really, it is Week 8 now..) upon us, the excitement and unpredictability continues. The past few games have been full of mayhem and debauchery.. and Game 7 was nothing short of it: Lots of Jell-O Shots, stylish and crazy hats. Wins, upsets and the first “F-word” of the season.. Just what will our last game bring?!? My vote for the battle to watch: Walk OF vs Shame!! The ol’ name game! With bragging rights included..



Good afternoon everyone!!! Good games last week–hopefully everyone enjoyed their time out at the fields and the bar. I have a quick topic I need to touch down on before anything else. PLEASE (trying to be nice here) DO NOT bring any outside drinks into Jovitas… It breaks all sorts of rules including the one set by the government, called THE LAW. So, no beers from the fields, those large ass cups with Gatorade and vodka (he is actually innocent, but a good example nonetheless) or even the great Jello shots we provide each week. Drink their beer, their mixed drinks, their shots and we will all be happy and Cameron and I won’t hear shit about it…cool? Good to hear.

Second on this weeks agenda, MIDSEASON PARTY!!! Many of yall may have got the Facebook message about it. To clear up any confusion, it is THIS SUNDAY, May 3rd. It will be from 2-6pm at Gillis Park. From 2-3:30 we will play pick up games, play flip cup, and all those fun things. If you have a friend that is wanting to see what WAKA is all about, bring them on out to the festivities. From about 3:30 to 5:00 we will have the First Annual WAKA Austin Home Run Derby. We will have lines drawn for a homerun and welcome anyone to give it a role. We will go over the specifics at the field that day. If you want to participate, please come out by 3:30 to get registered. At 5:00, or when that is over, we will have smoked chicken, brisket, burgers, veggies….really anything that can go on a smoker. If there is something specific you want to eat, bring it to me at the fields that day and I will throw it on. I will either be able to smoke it or cook it actually over a flame. Your choice.

Also, last week I know we had a situation that wasn’t pleasant for many about jerseys and unregistered players. Please refer to the rulebook about eligible players. We all want you to have fun, but please respect the rules. We have given everyone a jersey, so from now on ANYONE playing in the games, MUST have a WAKA jersey on for that team. And the same will go for the rest of the seasons from here on out. Anyone without a jersey cannot play. Sorry to be like this, but last weeks events solidified the need to follow the rules. Email me if you have any questions.

Alright, that’s it. See yall thursday and see yall out there Sunday for some fun, drinks, and more fun. Take care yall and we’ll see yall soon.




WAKA Shame vs  FUPAs: WAKA was a no show so we pitted FUPAs against Sex and the City. Sex pulled that one out (there is a joke in there somewhere) but the point on this one will go to FUPAs.

Dunder  vs   Sex in the City: Happy Birthday Elish!!! Dunder was a no show so Sex and the City gets this one on the forfeit.

Forfeiters vs Kids in Rehab: You are both boring. Come to the bar!

Sweat N Balls vs “Killers of Shame” – Dre + 4 Cereal Killers = Sweat n Balls scores again!! Racking up the points kiddos

YLLINAD vs  Sugarlumps: A little controversy on this one. YLLINAD actually won, but not with their full team. Because I can, both teams get points.

Cereal Killers vs Balls Deep – (even w/o the Jen trifecta AND with Cameron!!): Cereal Killers is back in the hunt. And props to Cam for playing with Guinness. That is gross.

Relax vs El Chupacabra: El Chu with the win!! I left early but was told that a little impromptu King of the Hill broke out and the last standing three were from this match up. Congrats to Scott and thanks to Kia for helping my lovely associate Jen!

Balls Toward vs Red Rockets: Red Rockets get the point on this one…. Sweet.

~ Danielle



(Get ready for a variety of jello flavors this week!!)

Thank you, thank you!!! I can not tell you enough how great you all are and how important your help is for the kids here in Austin. We are closing in on our goal and I am confident that between this week and the mid-season party, we can make it to $500. Please come ready for jello on Thursday (Creamsicle will be back due to popular demand along with a few new flavors!) and someone please beat Joey at the Home Run Derby on Sunday.  Also looking to set up a little beer pong tournament towards the end of the season. Stay tuned for details!

~ Danielle


Basic RGB

Seismic changes this week.  Relax’s chicanery saddles them with their first non-victory of the year.  How much will it hurt them in the standings?  And are Sugarlumps the new You Look Like I Need a Drink after beating them and stopping their roll?

1. Walk of Shame. “Now they’re the Hunted, not the Hunter”  “Steady and ready.  Defense!”

2. Red Rockets. “Wear your REAL shirts already.”  “Some teams have 12th men, they have 12th dogs.”

3. Freebasers. “Speed demons.”  “Made it by in a scary game.”

4. El Chupacabra. “The chupacabra has balls, who knew?”  “They’re going to go as far as their pitcher carries them.”

5. Balls Deep. “I’ve done that before.”  “Stout, stout defense and just enough offense.”

6. Relax and Let it Happen. “Lord oh Mighty.”  “If a big ass tree falls in the middle of the forest and no one is around, does it still make the sound of a forfeit?”

7. WAKA Shame. “Will dominate in the playoffs, no second guessing.”  “I have no idea what to make of this team.  I could see them making the finals, I could see them losing in the 1st round.”

8. Cereal Killers. “What kind of cereal would Obama be?”  “Where did the offense go?  Two runs the last two weeks?”

9. Sugar Lumps. “Two wins in a row, what ho?” “Save it for the playoffs, don’t blow your wad too early.”

10. You Look Like I Need a Drink. “Growing on me…”  “How are they going to rally after the letdown?”

11. Balls Toward the Wall. “Put up a good fight with 9 players against 32.”  “Savvy veterans, they’re going to be a tough out.”

12. Dunder ResERECTION. “They won but nobody heard ‘DUNDER!!!’ 97 times.”  “I want to marry their first basewoman.”

13. Kids in Rehab. “Maybe they haven’t recovered from rehab?”  “Dunder better bring their A+ game.”

14. FUPA’s. “Giving up that many runs takes some serious skills or lots of Tecate.”  “Still the best looking purple team out there.”

15. Sweat n’ Balls. “Is a ghost runner at home legal?”  “At least they have that whole ‘defense’ thing figured out.”

16. Sex and the City. “I dream of a day when all our sex dreams come true.”


Drum roll please… Here are the standings coming into the final game of the regular season:


I ain't too proud!
Waks win, walks win… yada yada yada. Same thing, different week. Good game. This team had defense though, and if they can just put some runs on the board, they might scare somebody come playoffs. My apologies to almost killing a woman when leaping over her. What doesn’t kill you only scars you for life, right? Another issue, the scoreboard will show that Walk of Shame lost to this team of imbecils, but thats not true. We won that game 3-1. We recruited honoraray Walk of Shame members for the night from Cereal Killers to act as part of the team. We destroyed you, and you get a forfeit victory. Terrible.
This weeks MVP doesn’t exist. Total team effort. And I love it. Keep bringin’ it! This is solid. Rock solid. And speaking of Rock….
Finally, finally, and finally we get our opportunity to settle this name dispute. This will be a beatdown of epic proportions. And Waka Shame…. You. Will. Lose. I have talked to a few of you on this team, and you guys are all nice. I like you guys a lot. But, I just want you guys to understand that your name klepto of a captain has wrote a check that his ass can’t cash. Also, we will defend the honor of our comrades, Kids in Rehab, who were defeated by these goons earlier in the season. Hip Hip for the real, and the original Walk of Shame!! Hip Hip for the real Texas Live division!!
Apologies to Howard Dean…


Relax and Let It Happen

(Mark’s write-up has been forfeited due to using words ineligible for WAKA.)


Red Rockets


Someone told me the other day that they are training for a marathon and I told them that I play kickball – a real sport, I’m not trying to be the best at exercising.

Did anyone else notice that Lois wasn’t there last Thursday? I know she is on vacation but I could have sworn I could still hear her yelling DUNDER from several states away.

Balls Toward the Wall is a cool team and it was a close game but the Red Rockets pulled off the W.  Coach Jay came off the injured reserve list for his first whack at a kickball.

Jay got peed on by Winnie the wiener dog as she was trying to lose some weight for the wiener dog races last weekend.  Also, Harley the Great slipped out of her collar and ran crazy on the field in the third which made for a much needed beer break.  Some ladies were also popping a squat behind the trees, maybe because the toilet was overflowing.

By the way, since everyone is still very confused on which field is “tree” and “power”, I move to rename the field’s “parking lot” and “overflowing toilet”.

The Red Rockets are ready for the playoffs!



It happened again. We played another game without bunting. Although this time around we didn’t agree to it, but were rather conned into going buntless by a persuasive young lady with a cool hat. She had a perfectly logical reason for determining the style of the game, so we couldn’t argue. Despite our morbid addictions, Freebasers are quite logical folk. Anyway, we still won the game 2-1 despite some great play from our opponents, who apparently deemed it magic hat day. Once again, a good stash of our team was lost somewhere between Hamsterdam and a pawn shop, but we still played valiantly without a full field of fiends. Courtney wins basehead of the game honors with stout defense at first base and a hilariously unnecessary tag of an oncoming runner. Looking forward to another fun week feeding the kicball addiction. Who got the lighta”!



We beat ourselves..  And so did Relax. Disappointing anyway you slice it.

If I may, though, get just one jab in:  Relax proved to be the kids when you were young that played Operation and touched their fingers to the board to balance the otherwise buzzing tweezer.

I keed. All in good fun. We would like to play yall again sometime.. Great job to our Chupa players for taking the W in flipcup! And to Scott and I taking the King of the Hill battle down to represent Chupa! You were on fire, boy!

Best of luck to everyone in this last week and the playoffs!


WAKA Shame Bunt Pirates


We won, we won, we won…sorry to rub it in, but it felt like months since we had one a game…Maybe it had been?  Anywho, great playing by everyone and glad to see some confidence back on the field. I would like to personally thank the ladies on my team for always being good sports and always coming out there with their game faces. For now, everyone bow their head, and thank the Lord for Andre talking shit and losing this Thursday…It was very sweet of him. So, see yall out there and Andre, prepare yourselves.


You Look Like I Need A Drink


We played Sugar Lumps.  We lost.  We are sad.

On to flip cup:

WE ONLY BROUGHT TWO DUDES TO THE BAR.  Adam, our soon to be bearded again friend, decided he would help us in our endeavor to revenge our misery.  There are now three of us ready for flip cup.

Maybe somewhere in the world of reading things no one else thought to… way deep in the catacombs of “why would you waste time with this?”… there might be some mention of needing a full team of 5 to officially compete in flip cup…. BUT I am here to refute this.

Specific mention was made as to “is this official?”  I, our fearless captain, knew the correct response was “of course!  we play for keeps!!”  I repeated this over and over until I was certain we were on for a match I could be proud of.

Three –vs- Five.  Lets do this thing, right?  Ok.  We win.  In four games.  It was glorious.  Too much beer.  So much fun.  And I’m happy.  Kids now have hope that they, too, can accomplish the impossible.  I’m pretty sure someone cured AIDS because they felt so inspired.

But wait?  What is this?  A ruling?  A complaint.  Sugar says no dice.  Didn’t count.  YLLINAD loses.   Maybe that’s how it just has to be.  You can apologize to the kids now, Sugar, because I’m not gonna.



Cereal Killers

Augie Garrido talks about winning each inning of a game.  We did that Thursday, we won the first four innings.  But we lost the 5th inning and the game.  Augie Garrido is full of sh!t.  This week I’m going to try some things from other great managers.  Dusty Baker has his toothpick, Jim Leyland smokes a pack a day, Lou Pinella throws bases and kicks dirt.  So look for me with a cigarette in one side of my mouth, a toothpick in the other and duck cause I’m going to be chucking bases left and right.

On a positive note, this week we spotted our opponent a 2-0 lead at the Flip Cup table and we came chugging back to win 3-2.  That’s for Jenn and Vivek who were out last week.  Even without our 4-5 drinkers, the heart of the order, we still rolled.  THAT’s the mark of a champion.

**Editor’s note:  Cameron, I challenge you to go for the Phillip Wellman strategy:




Dunder ResERECTION and Sex and the City played a fun, competitive, bunt-filled game.  Mendoza drove Brooke home for the game-winning RBI in the bottom of the fifth.  Too many exciting defensive plays by the Dunders to recount here.  Mad props to Kristen for playing injured and Ryan for helping with lineup. It was nice to see Star show up and cheerlead. I think we forfeited flip cup.

Dunder ResERECTION Draft Analysis:

Eddie has very good upside. He has a very strong arm, good size and adequate height. In other words, the sky’s the limit for Eddie. Our concern is that he lacks elite intangibles. This is problematic when you look at the situation in Dunder. The best-case scenario is Eddie winds up as the Dunders’ franchise left fielder for years to come. In order for that to happen, however, the Dunders need to bring him along slowly and that’s going to prove difficult. If they rush him, the Dunders risk losing out on their investment.

Ryan has the quick first step and the athleticism to be extremely effective catching the ball in the outfield. He also displays great balance along with strong closing burst when in pursuit from the backside. One of the concerns we have about him includes his being light in the hips, which may cause him to struggle when caught in phone-booth situations with bigger bunters.

We place a high value on competitiveness when we evaluate kickballers and Gerald is clearly the most determined base-runner in this class. He runs with an attitude and can run over or make defenders miss when he gets into the open field. Although Gerald ran a disappointing 40 time (4.62) at the combine he has outstanding quickness and he reaches his top-end speed in a flash.

Kristen‘s greatest strength is her ability to defend the bunt. She locates the ball quickly, is strong enough to set the edge and she is a big kicker who makes good contact. There’s also a lot to like about her range and motor.

Ben displays great strength and comes from a wrestling background, which allows him to play with great balance. He also possesses the necessary ability to sink his hips and reset his feet when going up against bigger pitchers, and he shows excellent hand use.

Brooke possesses rare and dynamic open-field capabilities. She runs with a low center of gravity, which allows her to get in and out of her cuts effortlessly. She also shows an elite burst and has the acceleration to take it the distance. Although Brooke will need some tweaking with her base-running her overall athleticism is too much to pass up at this point.

Felipe is the best pure shortstop in his class. He’s fluid changing directions, shows great burst coming out of his cuts and is fast enough to run down base-runners. Felipe is more than a one-dimensional player, too. He’s a playmaker and can defend the bunt when he puts his mind to it. So why didn’t he come off the board earlier? There are questions about his work ethic and teams were likely wondering if he would to play to his ability.

Tim gained 14 pounds between the combine and his pro day and that is reason for concern. However, we still believe he has the ability to make an immediate contribution. He doesn’t have great initial quickness, but he shows good footwork getting in and out of his breaks, and he isn’t going to get pushed around by bunters. Tim also flashes fly-trap hands and the ability to make spectacular catches. His catch during last season’s playoffs was one of the year’s most impressive.

Mendoza has a nice blend of size, hands and better-than-expected top-end speed. Although he’s a bit raw in his base-running, Mendoza has the potential to develop into the big-play kicker the Dunders desperately need.

Although Julie plays with a mean streak she lacks ideal lower-body strength, so she has some problems holding up when teams bunt at her when she’s lined up on the inside. She also has the quickness and motor to get to first base on occasion.


Kids in Rehab



So close but no cigar…Kids lose 2-1.

So same story, different team.  We were able to negotiate no bunting to this bunt away team.  How is that possible when told it’s unlikely they’d go for it?  Paper, Rock, Scissors!!!  Best way to determine, how it’d go down.

We had a different tactic this time as well as our entire 16 person squad.  We had a theme, hat theme that is and we had a bottle of vodka that was empty way before the game even started. So what do we do after that???  Derek buys like 30 jello shots!  Thanks for supporting your Kids and the kids in need of shoes!!!!  Hats off to Jon “Speedy Gonzalez” Wagner – not only did he wear the giant Sombrero, he played in it AND almost scored a run!

Regardless, from shiny ears, bada$$ fadoras, cowboy hats, caps and rooster pimp hats, fun was had by the Kids even baby, Maria still roots for us.



Game 8’s


–Thursday, April 30th–

Tree:  Cereal Killers v. Balls Toward the Wall
Power:  Balls Deep v. El Chupacabra

Tree:  Relax and Let it Happen v. Red Rockets
Power:  Kids in Rehab v. Dunder ResERECTION

Tree:  Walk of Shame v. WAKA Shame
Power:  FUPA’s v. Sex in the City

Tree:  You Look Like I Need a Drink v. Freebasers
Power:  Sugarlumps v. Sweat n’ Balls


Here’s a look ahead at what’s next!!!

Mid-Season Sunday Funday………….. May 3rdPlay-offs………………………….May 7th and 14th

Texas Tourney…………………………….May 30th

Scavenger Hunt……………………………June 6th

Pick-up Game for Summer…………….June 11th

Summer season starts…………………. June 18th

See everyone on the fields!!

...and there's more where this came from!

...and there's more where this came from!


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