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WAKA Live – Playoffs – Final Round

May 20, 2009

To see all the pictures taken at the playoffs, follow the link below. Thanks to Nicole:)

Thanks to everyone that came out for our last game of the season. It was a blast. And a special thanks to all the kickballers that got together and donated to Sarah’s Surgery Fund. We raised over $600 for her, and it is MUCH appreciated.

Great season everyone! Hope to see each and everyone of you back for the summer league!


WAKA Live – WInter Season Champs… none other than:

Relax and Let It Happen

Another magical season came to a close last night at Gillis Park.  Thanks to the league for providing the keg behind the tree and I am proud to say we contributed to the jello shot cause.  It’s a real honor to now have a piece of the namesake of the league trophy, now referred to as the Relax Cup.  Special thanks to Lacy for playing with us, even though simply being forced to stand on our sideline seemed as though it was going to make her violently ill.  Initially I was worried that she thought we were all bad people but I learned she mostly means Jay.  After he barked at one of us for something I cannot even remember she turned to me and said, “I keep waiting for laser beams to shoot out of his eyes!”  So do the girls on our roster, Lacy.  And now for some game recaps.
First up for us was “You Like Like I Need a Drink” who absolutely believed they could beat us last night.  It was almost kind of cute.  Much respect for bringing your own music out.  We even threw the ball around enough to allow them in for a run.  Loso went down in a heap after a tag play at home with what appeared to be a hyperextended knee.  At first we of course made fun of her for not only being out by a mile but falling on her face immediately afterwards.  Then, when it was apparent she was in fact crying, we realized it was more serious than we all thought.  However, if you think Loso is going to let a wounded knee get between her and a championship you are dead wrong.  Not only did she come out in the field so that we could play our full compliment of dudes, but she even kicked strictly sacrifices which actually got her on base once or twice.  Other than Lindsey, and a beautiful relay to home between me, Jay and Justin, it was a very lackluster effort. We will just chalk it up to nerves as the three-peat was important to all of us.  YLLINAD’s catcher made repeated great plays on our bunts which kept a lot of runners off the basepaths, nice work out there.
Next up came our old arch rivals which go by a different name every season but always feature the same cast of characters.  A solid, veteran group but when they play us they might as well be the Washington Generals.  They did a remarkable job of limiting our explosive offense with smart fielding but we maintained a comfortable lead that lasted throughout.  Renee began a two game stretch of some of her best kickball of the season in this game (minus trying to field the ball with her feet).  Honestly all of our girls contributed mightily last night.  Nancy was a little gun-shy at first out there but once she realized the big red ball was the one we were playing with she worked out a nice little relay routine with Hunter.  Big Stacy also contributed a few clutch RKI’s in the last inning to push the final to 4-0.  Eliminate you next year, Rock!
Finally, the matchup we had all been waiting for…or the game where everyone hoped someone would finally beat us so they gathered around the field.  The Freebasers have no shortage of speed (I think this sentence could be a veiled drug reference looking at it but I am not all that familiar with what you can and cannot freebase.  I’ll do some extensive research in the offseason).  We knew our hands would be full but it did not take long to get some runs on the board.  Seemingly every inning the Freebasers applied pressure with their offense but we never cracked and managed to get through five innings allowing only one run.  In case no one has noticed yet here, we are fucking good.  We had pushed the lead to 4-1 when the lights literally went out on us, causing about a fifteen minute delay.  Once we got the lights up and running again (thanks Cameron) we recaptured our focus and then tacked on three more runs to push the final margin to 7-1.  There was bried pandemonium around the mound and we got to hoist our new trophy, one named for our accomplishments.
See you all in the summer where we might possibly be debuting a developmental team.
Now for a few closing words from Ron Artest:
“Uh, wow. I understand it’s the playoffs. I remember when I used to play back home in the neighborhood there were always games like that. I remember one time, one of my friends, he was playing basketball and they were winning the game. It was so competitive, they broke off a piece of leg from a table and they threw it and it went right through his heart and he died right on the court.”

Kids in Rehab

Kids “bunted” in the end, barely miss the finals AND Andre’s still crying…

Having your ass handed to you before the start of the season.  Not so great.
Coming back with a vengence as the #11 seed.  Amazing.
Listening to Andre cry about the supposed “blindside of the year”. Priceless.
As of Tuesday, 5/19/09:
Great season Kids in Rehab, we were the only true Live team standing in the top 4 teams.  We surprised Walk with our strategic move, gave Freebasers a run for their money and came out strong in the end.  We’ll miss Marc Dube, who will take off the summer season and prepare for the little guppie to arrive.
Have a great summer and don’t ever change.

P.S.  Did you know “Bunting is one step above communism”?

andre status

Et tu Brute?
And the Walks sing….
*Should we give up, or should we just keep chasing pavements, even if it leads nowhere…*
We are sad. Rehab joined the dark side. Brutus. Iago. Benedict Arnold. Aaron Burr. Anakin Skywalker. Dube. Minnie. They’re all the same. Traitors. Our hearts hurt. I even briefly retired after the game. You blindsided pretty much our entire team, but you will pay. You’ll have to see us in the summer. And you can’t hide behind the b— ( I won’t even say the word).Even the Colts had to get by the Patriots at some point. You’ll see. And I still haven’t forgotten about your beer. Oh well, we still love you guys. You guys played great. And the game was amazing. Truly, it was everything a Walks-Rehab game should have been, minus the final score and the b—. And we wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.
Technically Rehab leads the series 3-2…. But we are going to throw a little something to the end of that final tally… So Rehab leads the series 3-2*.
On to our team….
Slob – This was your best season yet. Next season try to stop working out, being big only slows you down. Ask me, I’ll tell you all about it.
KiKi – Playmaker. Keep that arm. Get new shoes. (MVP)
Kia –  Solid Outfielding. Can’t lie. Now about that reffing….
Louis – Self proclaimed, “best kicker, runner, thrower, and fastest on the team”, but look who the MVP is. (Most improved)
Jorge – No one will ever forget you baiting SuperDave into throwing the ball at you and letting Mizzy score. Most knowledgable player in the outfield by bar. Monster leg too.
Chris H.- Not bad for a rookie year. You fit right in this season, and everyone on the team was happy you were around. Expecting Big things in June.
Ethan – When it comes to speed, you could be the fastest on the team. You’re a mortal lock for the Most Improved in the summer.
Cindy – You saved us in the playoffs, and don’t you ever forget that. We won’t.
Mizzy – Your base running is awesome. You’ve got balls. (figuratively)
Miya – You turned into one of most clutch defensive players we had this season. What an amazing first season. You were robbed in the HR derby.
*Wouldn’t trade you guys for anything. Not even Relax…. (Maybe their catcher)*
All in all, great season! Here’s to great games with Red Rockets, Balls Deep, Sweat N Balls, and of course KIR (Twice). And congrats to Relax for beating almost every team in the league (not us though, of course).
Summer is coming… Ready to beat the hell out of any team which features current or former members of Kids in Rehab or Waka Shame!

WAKA Live – Playoffs Round 1

May 13, 2009
Pre Emergency Splint 1

kickball. clearly, only the strong survive.

Hell of a week.

Congrats to the teams that made it to the semi-finals! Everyone else, come out on Thursday, cheer on your favorites, boo and hiss the teams you can’t stand, and most importantly buy some jello shots for a great cause! No, not Austin’s kids, but one of our own: as you may have heard, Sarah from El Chupacabra was badly hurt last week (see charity..)

Bring some cash, enjoy a good time and watch to see who gets dubbed Champions–of kickball and flipcup!



WOW! What a great first week of playoffs. I am really impressed with everyone’s effort in providing some of the best games I have seen all season. With a few upsets and the longest game EVER in kickball history, I could not of been more entertained. This week the games will be over and we will have a champion. I know the games determine your season, but PLEASE remember this is kickball and its all in fun. PLEASE don’t exhaust the refs with questioning every call made. If a bad call is made, one will probably be made equally in your favor. Also, remember your CAPTAIN is the only one allowed to discuss this with the ref. One last also: please don’t make the calls for the refs. It throws players off and makes the refs jobs harder (cause you yell at us afterwards). During the playoffs, please make sure to follow the jersey rules and player rules.

Ok, enough of that. Since the season is coming to an end, I would once again like to thank everyone for making this a great season. I truly hope you have enjoyed your experience with us and return in future seasons. Registration will open Friday. Also remember that next season we will have two divisions: Live and Capital. The divisions could be described like this: Capital = Drunk, Live = Drunker. If you have any questions, send me an email: Thanks guys and remember if you want to see pictures from this season check out our facebook group, 100’s are posted there.

Also, see below about raising money Thursday for Sarah who broke her leg last week.. and bring your dollars.

Yall take care and see you Thursday

PS: Beer will be at the fields this week. Take that as you like.



PAY ATTENTION TO THIS!!! If you were eliminated in last week’s games, do not despair. We will have kegs at the fields for everyone and your team will still be able to participate in the flip cup tournament. I am not going to do the brackets until Thursday night when we see which teams show up. The last thing I want is for people to have to wait around forever while I restructure because someone (Freebasers) didn’t show. SO, someone from each team, please find me on Thursday and let me know if your team is going to play. Once I have that, I will figure out seeds and we will kick things off at Jovitas around 9:30pm.

I also take this opportunity to let you know that my lovely assistant Jen Hayes will be taking over this position for the summer while I take a little break and abuse my body for marathon training. It’s been awesome getting to know many of you and I look forward to seeing you all in the fall.  Peace!

Kball FtP 004

~ Danielle



This week we are raising money for one of our own. I am sure that Lacy is covering this in depth in her write up, but Sarah’s on-going surgeries are going to cost a pretty penny and the breaking of a leg is likely not something that she planned for. We are making boat loads of shots this week to sell for ‘The Sarah Fund’. Please come thirsty and ready to party. One of the best parts of WAKA is the amazing community of ballers that we have and our willingness to help each other out. Love and thanks in advance.

~ Danielle


WAKA Live Playoff Brackett

Picture 1


Let’s start things off with…

Team Baby Jesus


I’ve got a confession to make.  WAKA just isn’t enough for me.  Y’all are all great, don’t get me wrong.  But I want to share the glory and majesty that we have with other people.  And what better way than to enter a tournament and kick the crap out of other people with their rules?  Five times I’ve played in tournaments and five times I’ve come away with 3rd place.  Literally, every finish, 3rd.  Not this time though.  On Saturday in Kyle, Baby Jesus dropped our first game 3-2 due to some bad luck and a ball landing on the chalk fair.  After that we went 5-0, outscoring the other teams 29-3.  We didn’t give up a run our final 22 innings, spanning the entire playoff tournament.  And I have to give it up to the 13 valiant warriors who helped me make it possible.

Jay pitching his ass and his arm off and driving in the ultimate winning run.  Joey covering 1st base/2nd base/right field and never again playing 3rd.  Justin setting the tone on offense and making every catch.  Clay resetting the tone on offense and making every catch, that last run was awesome.  Jonah providing the lefty pop.  Ryan, catching and throwing machine, I don’t think you missed a single throw.  Next time you’re up with the bases loaded and one out and great speed on the bases, get the damn ball out of the infield!  Josh making plays all over and helping me exploit the rules at the bottom of the lineup.

For the ladies, Anne, you were amazing.  On base all the time, didn’t miss a single ball.  Allie was on base all the time too, and set the fashion trend.  Lauren made great catches, cheerled AND harassed the crap out of Jay (get ahead of the hitters!)  We’ll forget about the (multiple) strikeouts.  Erin was all over the bases and kept everyone’s spirits up.  Bonus points for Erin and Lauren both wiping out at 1st base and rubbing some dirt on it and getting back in the game.  Whitney had some great self defense plays and some wicked kicks to boot.  And last but not least Danielle.  Got robbed all day with some awesome kicks that happened to get caught, scored the one and only run in the Championship game that won it all.

I couldn’t have done it without y’all, obviously.  Thanks for giving this old man something to smile about and letting me scratch something off of my bucket list, and I absolutely look forward to doing it again.

I like the Baby Jesus the best!



Relax & Let It Happen


Our two week journey to be crowned champions for the third straight season got off to a bit of a rocky start.  Jay, obviously working to confuse the opposing teams’ advanced scouting departments, threw out a lineup we had never used before.  Some might call it brilliant tactical craft, but I would suggest it had to do with a volatile mixture of Kamchatka and purple G2.  It was essentially reverse batting order and yours truly spitting fire from the mound.  Ty and I proved why we so often man the bottom of the order by quickly going down in order before Loso sparked a five run two out rally nearly scorching the Earth as she sprinted for the first time in her career.  We rode that first inning to a 7-1 victory.  We had wondered all season where WAKA fixture Wendell was and thankfully we got to play him.  Lord knows I have seen my fair share of FUPA’s but none were as friendly and sportsmanlike as this crew.

Did anyone go to flip cup?  Does anyone go to flip cup?  Even Danielle was complaining about it after playing as a guest (Isn’t winning fun?  I still owe you for jello shots) for our team.  We will for sure be fielding a team this week looking to defend our championship from last fall that was actually given by default for our regular season performance.  Get your popcorn ready.

Finally in other news, Renee Francese’s whereabouts remain unknown.  The only place the authorities have ruled out as a possible location is Gillis Park on any given Thursday.




“Playoffs! You talkin’ about playoffs!”

This is what Freebasers all around the world dream of. A year’s worth of dedicated fiending all tied up like a belt around your vein in preparation for the ultimate satisfaction – a championship.
The ecstatic rush of a clean hit. The clouds of smoke as you round the bases. The immaculate high of scoring a run.
Yessir, it’s that time of year, or season, or whatever. When every game counts – it’s playoff time.

Our round 1 opponents were the lovely ladies (and lads) in pink – Sex in the City. We started the game slow, and Sexin jumped out to an early 1-0 lead. Feeling the heat of the flame a little bit, the Freebasers buckled down and got focused. We piled people on base a couple innings in a row, and after Marc completely choked on a heavy hit of bases loaded, Alex came through a couple innings later with a grand slam (or an “all around” as Katie likes to call it). Alex’s clutch kick with two strikes was the hit that put us over the top. The Freebasers were kicking on cloud nine for the rest of the game, as a six run deficit proved to be too much for a Sex in the City comeback.

Great kicking from all the ladies. Solid pitching by Mr. Testa. And fantastic field play all around (with the exception of Katie’s “spatial awareness” meltdown on one play). Another awesome outing.

One week left. One trophy to claim. Freebasers are on a mission from God. Now who got the lighta’!



Dear Sweat N Balls,


Walk of Shame

Now that takes care of that. I never want to see that yellow team ever again. That was not a #14 seed we played. No matter what that record says.

Kids In Rehab…. We love you guys. We really do. You guys are our best friends in this league but don’t let the last week’s game fool you. We have your number, and you know it.  We are not the Chupas. AND we play by your rules. Oh! Scary, scary…. De-Facto Live Championship right here…


But seriously best of luck to all the teams remaining, and we’ll see you at fields. And a couple of us will see you at the bar…

*Speedy Recovery to Sarah from Chupas.*


WAKA Shame

Kball FtP 001

My lord she is loud…but damnit, they were fun to play. I would like to thank the cats for playing a fun game. I tried to get my team to not bunt, but you know, cant teach an old dog new tricks.

To my team:  So I am writing this Tuesday at 6:30pm because my write ups are never on time.. And was thinking that all of you should be stretching right now and getting ready to go to the gym to do your “kickball” exercises. Oh, wait, only I would do that. But nonetheless, I look forward to beating up on Sara and her Sugarlumps and getting some revenge…after that its Relax. And shit, don’t worry, Uncle Rock is going to keep them to their lowest score of the year and hopefully pull us in a W. After that, probably Freebasers…but first lets just beat Relax…I want Joey to cry.



Kids in Rehab

Kids have a bittersweet victory to advance to the semi-finals

This week’s write up is dedicated to Sarah.  We hope you have a speedy recovery.  You are one trooper!!!!

Get well soon!!!!



You Look Like I Need A Drink

Thanks for the great game, Cereal Killers.  We had a blast.

The girls really pulled it out for us and, in case you were wondering, I just laughed when I wrote that.   We owe most of our runs to them. Well done ladies.

Our defense was great and hustled big time.  Mason was all over, Grant made catches using his ass, and Ashlee’s pitching was awesome as usual.

Followed it up with a complete win, taking home the W in flip cup.  Again, I like winning.  We should do that more.

Looking forward to this week and RELAX.  They handed us a big 5-0 loss in our first game, but we feel like we’re just about to reach our prime.  I can’t promise you a victory quite yet, but I can assure you it will be one for the ages.  Everyone who’s looking for someone to cheer on in this round of playoffs, I’ll give you a beer if you come and support the YLLINAD crew.  Then a hug, probably…

Good kickin’ balls with all of you.



Cereal Killers

Tale of two seasons, no?  We were 3-1-1 heading into the turn.  Then we got Red Rocketed, Balled Deep, tied up Toward the Wall and last week, well, we did need a Drink.  Several, in fact.  Credit where it’s due, you guys beat us like a rented mule.

But since Cereal Killers was infinitely more successful than Tourettes (anything is better than 0 wins after all) I’m writing this with a smile on my face.  Gotta give the kudos to everyone.

Pugs and Josh, welcome back, we missed you.  Missed you even more when you were gone, and as always, you make us the most freakishly tattooed team in the league.  Jen, Jenn and Jen:  Indefatigable on the field and at the Flip Cup table.  Brought enthusiasm, Fruit Loops and Leo to the team.  Rick was back after a season off, and even though we only played two games together, it was awesome.  Danielle, we’ll miss you as you leave to train for your marathon.  I’d offer to help, but running the bases is about all I’m good for.  Speaking of leaving, thanks to Whitney for bringing Amy in and y’all better not leave me for the hot Asian girl next season (narrows eyes.)  Vivek will also be missed as he heads back to Michigan, I’ll have to find someone else to catch everything on the left side of the field.  Zach’s been with me the longest, all the way back to Schieze days.  Lisa nearly as long, she’s gone from Bohica to Tourettes to a Cereal Killer.  Neil and Daniel joined us late and made a huge difference.

It was a blast y’all, and Baby Jesus has big (figurative) shoes to fill this summer.  The name is already a champion outside of WAKA, now it’s time to bring it home.



Where to start… We didn’t know it at the time, but Thursday’s game was our last of the season. And a shocker at that.

After a nasty collision in the outfield between Sarah and myself, we had to call the game off. Me: perfectly fine.. maybe a bruise and a joggled, confused brain. Sarah: clean broken fibia and tibula.

"YOUR MOM made it in the gmot.."

"YOUR MOM made it in the gmot.."

In-freaking-sane. I don’t want to go into all of it as i hope Sarah can come out on Thursday and speak for herself, but I do want to thank everyone in this league for their concern. (I’ve gotten MANY messages from kickballers saying the nicest things about you, Steinbacher!) But by the time you all read this she will have gone through one external surgery and (on Wednesday) one internal surgery. Although insured, she’s going to have a lot of uncovered surgical fees. WAKA Live has been nice enough to allow proceeds from jello shots this Thursday to go towards a “Sarah Fund.” So if you feel like giving, come on out and through back some tasty jello for a dedicated kickballer. Tell your work you’re hungover Friday morning because you had to support one good cause 🙂

My Team: it’s been a seriously great season. Starting from the beginning we had our first team chant of “Chupa! Chupa!” with Raul pointing out, “Uh you know you’re yelling ‘suck?'” But we learned, got better and even chupa’d the fupa. Being a random team we really pulled together, made some great friends and looked forward to every Thursday. That’s what this all should be about. And seeing Chupacabra come together during a serious injury was amazing. And touching. Damnit I cried. I blame you all. And the seemingly full moon. Either way, all that matters during the playoffs is that we won flipcup in the end, and in the name of Sarah. Let’s continue our “one and done” routine! I hope to see everyone come back out for the summer season. I swear I wont hurt you. (Unless you bail on Chupa..)

xoxo to all my Chups, see yall Thursday,



Schedule is as follows:

Good luck to all!!

6:30 Tree

Freebasers (2) v. Balls Toward the Wall (10)

6:30 Power

Walk of Shame (3) v. Kids in Rehab (6)

7:15 Tree

Relax and Let it Happen (1) v. You Look Like I Need a Drink (9)

7:15 Power

WAKA Shame (5) v. Sugarlumps (13)

8:00 Tree Semifinal

8:00 Power Semifinal

8:45 Tree Finals

WAKA Live – Last week of games

May 6, 2009


With playoffs upon us, this season of WAKA Kickball in Austin in winding down. Thanks to all that made it out to our Sunday Funday. Everyone had a blast… clearly, everyone. Check out the Facebook page for more pictures.. And many thanks to Lisa from FUPA, Kari from WAKA, and Minnie the KID for submitting most of the photos this time. Nothin’s better than blasphemous “did that really happen???…” documentation 🙂

Good luck to everyone during playoffs.. party’s not over yet!

–Lacy, GhostWomanOnThird


Live President Rock
What’s happenin kickballers? Everyone doing ok? Still hungover from Sunday? Good to hear. Between last weeks’ games, the second kickballer to puke at Jovita’s, and the midseason party, it was one hell of a great week for WAKA Austin. If you missed the midseason party, well sucks for you. Between the great turn out, beer, the long ball contest, great weather and bbq it turned out to be a hell of a good time. I want to personally thank everyone who did come out and hope yall had as much fun I did. I haven’t received the official numbers from accounting, but it looks like we raised nearly $100 for the kids. Thats 5 more kids with some pretty sweet sneaks thanks to us. Congratulations to Rich from Sweat N’ Balls and Erika from Sex N` the City in winning the long ball contest. Everyone get ready for the end of season party June 6th downtown doing a combination scavenger hunt/ bar crawl/race. Emails will be sent with specifics on the event.
Get ready for the playoffs this week and fight for your right to play next week. Good luck to everyone. The tournament is single elimination, so everyone bring your A game, maybe replace the beer with Gatorade before hand (vodka optional) or just stretch for the first time and hope to see you out there in the second round of games. The schedule will be listed later in the GMOT.
Hope to see some upsets, taken down rivalry and quality (not yelling at me when I ref) kickball. Have a good one guys and take care.





This week was awesome, thank you to everyone for coming to the bar and being ready to crush each other on the flip cup table. I think this was one of the best weeks to date in terms of people showing up and being ready to play. I really appreciate your enthusiasm as we wind down the season!

Here are your stats:

Cereal Killers vs Balls Toward

Cereal Killers struggled this week and Balls Toward the wall capitalized on the missing Jen. Time to put the peddle to the metal CK’s only one week left to secure your seed!

Balls Deep vs El Chupacabra

I am thinking that El Chu might be a favorite for the tournament this season. These people are unafraid and have smashed almost all of their competitors. They also sealed it up at King of The Hill. Good work guys!

Relax vs Red Rockets

Red Rockets beat up on some Relax and Let it Happen. I think Relax better step up their drinking before next week, just sayin.

Dunder vs Kids in Rehab

DUNDER. I am loving this team more and more each week. Great work guys (and chupa!)

WAKA vs Walk of Shame

Dre, you put up a mean fight, but you can stop talking shit right about now! Ryan got us in the mood with a chug off at the fields and the party continued at Jovitas. Nice work!

Sex in the City vs FUPAs

FUPAs are another favorite each week and can everyone please give Lisa some love? Girl has been playing with a broken finger and is still schooling you all at Flip Cup!

YLLINAD vs Freebasers

YLLINAD wins… I mean, look who they were up against. Duh.

Sugarlumps vs Sweat

Sugarlumps has been one of those sleeper teams that as the season closes up has started bringing some serious heat. I love it and I am excited to see what yall can do at the tournament.

Great work guys! Please check GMOT next week for your Flip Cup seeds and bracket.

Love ya, mean it.

~ Danielle


Great work this week guys!!! We are rapidly closing in on our NEW goal. You all have been so generous that our new goal is double what we originally set and we are only about $100 away from hitting it. You should all feel really proud of yourselves because you are making a huge difference in the lives of kids here in Austin. With the economy in the tank, those who were on the edge before now have even less and through your generosity, we are going to be able to make a whole bunch of kids super excited.

A special thank you to everyone who came out for the mid-season party and to those who participated in the Home Run Derby. Big congrats to our winners (pictured above), yall rocked it out. If anyone owes us money for shots or HR Derby, please find me on Thursday. I am taking the money in on the 15th so I need to be sure that we are all squared away.

Thanks again to everyone for all of your support, I really appreciate it!!

~ Danielle


Standings going into playoffs:



Relax and Let It Happen

I’ll first address our controversial forfeit loss to finally put the issue to bed.  We had non-roster girls in town from Seattle playing with us in order to field a full lineup.  By no means were these girls ringers, neither of them had even brought tennis shoes and they were playing in clothes they brought down as pajamas.  Very early on it was repeatedly suggested to El Chupacabra the different ways they could force us to forfeit by President Logue, who was serving as the home plate umpire.  They were not interested in forfeiting even when our own teammate joined the cause and practically begged them to make us forfeit, a mystifying reverse psychology tactic carried out by our extremely inebriated gentle giant, Joey(let’s be honest here, the league could form an all star team and pick out four sweet little ladies from a local retirement community and we would win…comfortably).  However, as it became apparent we were absolutely going to win, the forfeit idea really seemed to pick up steam.  The last straw happened when one of our girls who was supposed to just watch got onto the field for a half inning and never batted.  Nevermind the fact that she and a dead body could have performed the same function in that inning, that was of little importance.  While impacting the game itself in no way whatsoever, she did have a dramatic impact on the outcome.  Still not sure why we were forced to retroactively forfeit after the offer was repeatedly refused during the game, but news came down from the top and we were forced to accept a semi-defeat.  You will all pay dearly for their transgressions in the playoffs.

Now to the game we played last night.  Look, Red Rockets, it was nothing personal.  We really felt like a team who had been burned the week before and had a lot to prove.  We even let the power poll rankings get into our heads, conveniently forgetting that our own teammate is responsible for those polls.  Joey’s motivational ploy worked almost too well really for a team full of college graduates.  From the first pitch until the last inning we were taking no prisoners and making no friends.  In fact Jay was so fired up that he wasn’t even really that nice to his own teammates last night.  Chris Miller set the tone in the first inning with a bases clearing laser beam down the right field line and there was no let up from there.  Our pitching and defense was not stellar, although it was sharp enough to never allow a runner past second base for the entire night.  The Red Rockets featured one WAKA league t-shirt in a full lineup.  We of course did not care to raise any sort of fuss as we were winning handily but in the playoffs they may run into a team who questions the integrity of their roster.

As far as I know we did not make the trip to Jovita’s because of various levels of lameness inside the team, me included.  However as I type this I am realizing I owe Danielle money for jello shots.  My donation this coming week will feature interest, I promise.

Finally I would like to use the end of the season to give out our first edition of team awards:

MVP: Justin Grady – Using a lethal combination of speed, quickness and relative sobriety Justin terrorized the league on a weekly basis both as a table setter for the most potent offense since the ’05 Longhorns but also as the best defensive catcher in Austin WAKA history.  Go ahead and bunt, you will be out by three steps.  We ended the season with 50 runs and I would be willing to bet Justin had his fair share of them.  By the way, Hunter still thinks he should be hitting leadoff.

Gold Glove: Hunter Coleman
– Playing a hybrid position I like to call “steal anything and everything from being fielded by a girl,” Hunter used his ball-hawking safety skills to track down balls all over the left side of the infield every week.  Still needs some work on the phrase “I got it!” but that will come in due time.

Silver Slugger: Joey Thomas – There were times this year when Joey kicked balls that weren’t so much soaring into the sky as they were orbiting the Earth.  Seriously, I did not see another player kick a ball within 75 feet of the balls Joey could put out there.  His ability to punish a kickball is not completely about his sheer size, but if we were in little league Joey would need to show his birth certificate in every game, maybe every inning.

Spirit Award: Lindsey Loso – She may seem like she is somewhere off in a galaxy far, far away while roaming the outfield and for someone who claims to have never lost a race in high school her stride is a bit more of a frolic than a sprint.  However, Loso never missed a game and entertained us endlessly with her nearly biographical walk-up song as well as constantly positive attitude while facing no shortage of negative reinforcement from the guys on the team, especially the one who pitches.

Now it is time to 3-peat, see you all in the playoffs.

(does this make anyone else so NOT relaxed?)

(does this make anyone else so NOT relaxed? count to ten...)


And now, the “shameful” battle…


Walk of Shame’s conclusions from this past week….

*We don’t like to bunt.

*Bunting is for teams with Napoleon’s Syndrome (Relax, Thieves, and anyone else who bunts…)

*The Thieves aren’t much better at bunting than we are.

*The Thieves uniforms are still the ugliest in the league, right in front of DUNDEEEEERRRRR.

*I should have never agreed to chug a beer against Rock. (Although it was close)

*Our pitcher was sexier than theirs.

*The thieves would lose that game 9 out of 10 times.

*We are SO ready for the playoffs.

*We are still the Original Walk of Shame.

*If it wasn’t for the blunder of the year: a throw to an empty 2nd base in the first inning, the thieves would have lost!!!

*We finished as the Live team with the best record. Where is our cup?!!?

MVP: Congrats to Ethan for finally doing SOMETHING this season and scoring. We are expecting greatness out of you, son. Keep it up.
Honorable Mention: Cindy. Only the best 2nd baseman all season long.

Playoff Predictions for this week…

Walk of Shame – 7

Sweat n Balls – 0

Also….Upset alert.


Thieves – 1

Vegas says Walk of Shame is 5-1 odds to win the whole thing. Do you believe in miracles?! YES!



WAKA Shame Bunt Pirates

Hmmmm….Where to begin? What to say? I mean, its hard…I want to be nice. I really do. Between the facebook posts, GMOT write ups, and very not so subtle comments on the field and elsewhere..  So I am going to try and do this as subtle as possible. We won. Andre lost at the chug off to decide if we bunted. Do NOT let him try to tell you differently. Watch it and be the judge.
He will say that they had us the other 4 innings, they lost. It was good play by both teams, however when my team scores more than your team we get the “W” and yall get the letter after “K.”
Since this was a game for the name/ages, whats yalls plan? Negotiations? I can work something out that has to do with the bar. Hmmm…hmmm…?
See you thursday, bring a contract.
By the way, good job my team. I love you all like a mother fucker. lets win this thing.


Kids in Rehab


Kids beat Dunders in a (bee) stinging 6th inning

First of all, we like to thank Andre for reffing our game.  We love ya, man!  And for all of you out there, if you get stung by a bee, don’t let this man near you. I kid.

Dunders take a quick but short lead.  Drew and Jeff must have taken some speed as for some reason, they decided to outrun Kim & Jennifer on the bases.  It caused Jennifer to take a dive into 3rd, leaving her nothing but a grassy ass.

We finally woke up and took the 3rd and 4th innings – 3 up, 3 down style.  We probably could have had the game but the Kids were pushing to get Minnie a homerun.  Man!  She was just A STEP away from touching the plate!!!  Her dream of a homerun is dead.  Game: Tied 1-1….with time remaining, we agreed on another inning.

Kids allow no runs in the 6th.  We’re up on deck, bottom of the 6th, one man on base, 2 outs….what could happen??? It’s like the Celtic vs. Bulls game in the 3rd OT.  Ok, may be not.  All we need to do is score!!!  No one wants to kiss their freakin’ sister!  Drew kicks it low, Jon kicks it to the sweet spot in RC then Carrie “I’m a pirate” Gilson follows suit creating the run for Jeff.  Gilson, you go girl!!!!  ARRRRGGHHH!!!!

Thanks to all for the remedies for a bee sting.  I am surprised to find out that urine is also.  Interesting.

Next up again, El Chupacubra.  Everyone remember the curvy pitcher, touch the base and don’t kick it to SuperDave. 🙂



Tupac always used to tell me, “revenge is the sweetest thing next to getting <insert expletive inappropriate for WAKA>.”

Not sure it beats boiling up your first for the day, but it definitely is sweet! Why we played You Look Like I Need a Drink for the second time instead of one of the many teams we have not played yet is unbeknown to us, but that’s cool, because it gave us the opportunity to seek that sweet nectar called revenge.

In case you forgot, we gave YLLIND their first victory of the season in an ugly display of buntless kickball a few weeks back. We claimed we would have our revenge, and sure enough we did. Our opponents played well, but they were no match for our love of speed, stellar pitching and Alex’s impeccable ability to hug the ball before it hit the ground. A solid game all around.

And what better way to celebrate a revengeful victory? How about a dominating performance by the Houston Rockets to advance to the second round of the playoffs! To that, I say…who got the lighta’!


el-chupacabraLast game, and we tied. Down a couple players, enduring some sketchy plays, and going against our own Super Dave..

Player with the Most ❤ = Kate Talbot herself. Never afraid to “do what you gotta do.” Sliding into 2nd, without a 2nd thought, she reopened some nasty wounds from the costumed game 3 weeks ago and was bleeding everywhere. Seriously, looks as if her leg was ravaged by a Chupacabra!

Most Surprising Player to (finally) Show in the Outfield = Lusto, the legend. That was a fantastic catch you made and you shocked everyone by taking the field and not, i dunno, boozing on the sideline and losing chugoffs. Wait..

Best Survivor Player = Amanda Van Ast. Blocked by an orange player on her run to home (yes, she made it THAT far!!) she blew past him seemingly uninjured…but pissed. Sick ’em, sick ’em!

Good playing guys, even considering SuperDave got most of us out, there were some awesome plays made, namely the Steinbacher sibling teamwork catch, and not my “throw” to second…  But as always, one-and-done! Flip those cups!

See ya on the field KIDS!

p.s. no comment about the hot air above (see Relax writeup). We didn’t want it to be like that. But decision made. Old news, Puke-meister.


Cereal Killers


Man, Thursday was a long ass time ago.  I know we were playing against 8 and a half members of Balls Towards the Wall.  I remember that we graciously gave them three runs to tie the game hoping for more kickball, since we had time left and we’d played so fast.  I recall their acting Captain rudely refused our overture for more kickball.  Ingrate.  I mean, who DOESN’T want more kickball?  And I have the vivid recollection of Danielle hitting her knees at 2nd base in an effort to persuade the other team to uh, you know…

Congrats on Jen McNabb scoring again, that’s like three times you’ve scored this year.  Hussy.

Playoffs start this week and we’ve definitely been saving our best for then.  Our best socks.  Best alcohol.  Most inappropriate chants.  Best everything.  You Look Like You’ll need several drinks when we’re through with you.



you can figure out who's who..

you can figure out who's who..

I really hate writing the GMOT when we’ve lost.  It’s like writing those “mediators” in junior high.  You know, at lunch detention, you’d be in the room with your teacher eating something that smells like cat vomit… She turns the lights off so you can’t see just to be a huge you know what… you’re writing “I’m a dumbass, I shouldn’t talk in class” a thousand times and it makes you want to hurt puppies or bunnies or something….  That’s how I feel.

Freebasers exacted their revenge on us by bunting their selves to victory.  For some reason our legs must be stuck on 11 and we can only a) kick fouls or b) kick sky balls.  That was not beneficial.

Krystel was badass and got on base, making the momentum for our 1 run.  I have no idea who kicked that run, but I know I like them.  Oh ya.. we were short some players?  Can I use that as an excuse know?  Some over thrown balls and a lack of coordination from us (maybe the getting too drunk thing has lost its nostalgia) and we lost the game.

Freebasers + flip cup =  a world of hate.  Therefore we played Chupa and beat them.  That was nice.  Because they’re all huge losers.  And who doesn’t like beating up a loser?  I know everyone at my high school did, bc this guy got beat up like he was a punching bag.  Kicked like a hacky sack, dropped like a sack of rotten tomatoes… and the list goes on.  I kid… kind of.

Hope that was random enough for all of you kickballers.  See ya in the playoffs BIAAATCHES!!





…’nuff said.





Ok last week You look like I need a drink had their way with us on GMOT even though they “officially” lost at flip cup.  So we are not letting another team bully us on GMOT…Sugar Lumps is striking back. Sweat n Balls…no we did not want to play another scoreless this does not mean we forfeit or that we don’t believe in our team…this just means we were done with you and were more interested in moving on to the bar where we could destroy you in flip cup. Yes I said it destroy.


Sex and the City


We are now officially winners!!! Because it was our last game of the season we had multiple reasons for wanting to win: 1) Bernie tore his acl the previous game, so we wanted a win for all his effort – and the pain he will be enduring for while 2) We had not won a game yet 3) Make the fact that the entire team has become babysitters for Jaden during the game justified.

This past Thursday, April 30th, the moon aligned just right, the wind blew in the right direction and our team full of first time kickballers got it all together.  We communicated, we kicked, we bunted, and most importantly scored some runs.  We had a solid defense.  Yael make a great catch near second, Rachael played an outstanding game at first while Rob made bullet like throws from shortstop, even stopping to play a basketball for a minute.  Everyone came out to win – Mary (even though she was sick), Tara as a first time catcher, Cassie, Mark, Crystal, Carlos, Sara, Aida playing the field like pro’s.  Overall it was a great game against the FUPA’s – great sportsmanship on both teams.

Now – with a win under our belt – we are ready for the playoffs!!!




After losing to Sex in the City, our only braggin’ can come from beating them in Flip Cup..oh well!  See ya’ll thursday!

–Lisa, Capt. of the… drum roll please… this week’s team name is… Swine FLUpas!!!


Playoffs – Week 1



Freebasers(2) vs Sex & the City(15) – Tree Field

WAKA Shame(5) vs Dunder resERECTION(12) – Power Field


Walk of Shame(3) vs Sweat n Balls(14) – Tree Field

El Chupacabra(6) vs Kids in Rehab(11) – Power Field


Relax & Let It Happen(1) vs FUPAs(16) – Tree Field

Red Rockets(4) vs SugarLumps(13) – Power Field


Balls Deep(7) vs Balls Toward the Wall(10 – Tree Field

Cereal Killers(8) vs YLLINAD(9) – Power Field

WAKA Live – Week 8

April 29, 2009


With the last week of games (no really, it is Week 8 now..) upon us, the excitement and unpredictability continues. The past few games have been full of mayhem and debauchery.. and Game 7 was nothing short of it: Lots of Jell-O Shots, stylish and crazy hats. Wins, upsets and the first “F-word” of the season.. Just what will our last game bring?!? My vote for the battle to watch: Walk OF vs Shame!! The ol’ name game! With bragging rights included..



Good afternoon everyone!!! Good games last week–hopefully everyone enjoyed their time out at the fields and the bar. I have a quick topic I need to touch down on before anything else. PLEASE (trying to be nice here) DO NOT bring any outside drinks into Jovitas… It breaks all sorts of rules including the one set by the government, called THE LAW. So, no beers from the fields, those large ass cups with Gatorade and vodka (he is actually innocent, but a good example nonetheless) or even the great Jello shots we provide each week. Drink their beer, their mixed drinks, their shots and we will all be happy and Cameron and I won’t hear shit about it…cool? Good to hear.

Second on this weeks agenda, MIDSEASON PARTY!!! Many of yall may have got the Facebook message about it. To clear up any confusion, it is THIS SUNDAY, May 3rd. It will be from 2-6pm at Gillis Park. From 2-3:30 we will play pick up games, play flip cup, and all those fun things. If you have a friend that is wanting to see what WAKA is all about, bring them on out to the festivities. From about 3:30 to 5:00 we will have the First Annual WAKA Austin Home Run Derby. We will have lines drawn for a homerun and welcome anyone to give it a role. We will go over the specifics at the field that day. If you want to participate, please come out by 3:30 to get registered. At 5:00, or when that is over, we will have smoked chicken, brisket, burgers, veggies….really anything that can go on a smoker. If there is something specific you want to eat, bring it to me at the fields that day and I will throw it on. I will either be able to smoke it or cook it actually over a flame. Your choice.

Also, last week I know we had a situation that wasn’t pleasant for many about jerseys and unregistered players. Please refer to the rulebook about eligible players. We all want you to have fun, but please respect the rules. We have given everyone a jersey, so from now on ANYONE playing in the games, MUST have a WAKA jersey on for that team. And the same will go for the rest of the seasons from here on out. Anyone without a jersey cannot play. Sorry to be like this, but last weeks events solidified the need to follow the rules. Email me if you have any questions.

Alright, that’s it. See yall thursday and see yall out there Sunday for some fun, drinks, and more fun. Take care yall and we’ll see yall soon.




WAKA Shame vs  FUPAs: WAKA was a no show so we pitted FUPAs against Sex and the City. Sex pulled that one out (there is a joke in there somewhere) but the point on this one will go to FUPAs.

Dunder  vs   Sex in the City: Happy Birthday Elish!!! Dunder was a no show so Sex and the City gets this one on the forfeit.

Forfeiters vs Kids in Rehab: You are both boring. Come to the bar!

Sweat N Balls vs “Killers of Shame” – Dre + 4 Cereal Killers = Sweat n Balls scores again!! Racking up the points kiddos

YLLINAD vs  Sugarlumps: A little controversy on this one. YLLINAD actually won, but not with their full team. Because I can, both teams get points.

Cereal Killers vs Balls Deep – (even w/o the Jen trifecta AND with Cameron!!): Cereal Killers is back in the hunt. And props to Cam for playing with Guinness. That is gross.

Relax vs El Chupacabra: El Chu with the win!! I left early but was told that a little impromptu King of the Hill broke out and the last standing three were from this match up. Congrats to Scott and thanks to Kia for helping my lovely associate Jen!

Balls Toward vs Red Rockets: Red Rockets get the point on this one…. Sweet.

~ Danielle



(Get ready for a variety of jello flavors this week!!)

Thank you, thank you!!! I can not tell you enough how great you all are and how important your help is for the kids here in Austin. We are closing in on our goal and I am confident that between this week and the mid-season party, we can make it to $500. Please come ready for jello on Thursday (Creamsicle will be back due to popular demand along with a few new flavors!) and someone please beat Joey at the Home Run Derby on Sunday.  Also looking to set up a little beer pong tournament towards the end of the season. Stay tuned for details!

~ Danielle


Basic RGB

Seismic changes this week.  Relax’s chicanery saddles them with their first non-victory of the year.  How much will it hurt them in the standings?  And are Sugarlumps the new You Look Like I Need a Drink after beating them and stopping their roll?

1. Walk of Shame. “Now they’re the Hunted, not the Hunter”  “Steady and ready.  Defense!”

2. Red Rockets. “Wear your REAL shirts already.”  “Some teams have 12th men, they have 12th dogs.”

3. Freebasers. “Speed demons.”  “Made it by in a scary game.”

4. El Chupacabra. “The chupacabra has balls, who knew?”  “They’re going to go as far as their pitcher carries them.”

5. Balls Deep. “I’ve done that before.”  “Stout, stout defense and just enough offense.”

6. Relax and Let it Happen. “Lord oh Mighty.”  “If a big ass tree falls in the middle of the forest and no one is around, does it still make the sound of a forfeit?”

7. WAKA Shame. “Will dominate in the playoffs, no second guessing.”  “I have no idea what to make of this team.  I could see them making the finals, I could see them losing in the 1st round.”

8. Cereal Killers. “What kind of cereal would Obama be?”  “Where did the offense go?  Two runs the last two weeks?”

9. Sugar Lumps. “Two wins in a row, what ho?” “Save it for the playoffs, don’t blow your wad too early.”

10. You Look Like I Need a Drink. “Growing on me…”  “How are they going to rally after the letdown?”

11. Balls Toward the Wall. “Put up a good fight with 9 players against 32.”  “Savvy veterans, they’re going to be a tough out.”

12. Dunder ResERECTION. “They won but nobody heard ‘DUNDER!!!’ 97 times.”  “I want to marry their first basewoman.”

13. Kids in Rehab. “Maybe they haven’t recovered from rehab?”  “Dunder better bring their A+ game.”

14. FUPA’s. “Giving up that many runs takes some serious skills or lots of Tecate.”  “Still the best looking purple team out there.”

15. Sweat n’ Balls. “Is a ghost runner at home legal?”  “At least they have that whole ‘defense’ thing figured out.”

16. Sex and the City. “I dream of a day when all our sex dreams come true.”


Drum roll please… Here are the standings coming into the final game of the regular season:


I ain't too proud!
Waks win, walks win… yada yada yada. Same thing, different week. Good game. This team had defense though, and if they can just put some runs on the board, they might scare somebody come playoffs. My apologies to almost killing a woman when leaping over her. What doesn’t kill you only scars you for life, right? Another issue, the scoreboard will show that Walk of Shame lost to this team of imbecils, but thats not true. We won that game 3-1. We recruited honoraray Walk of Shame members for the night from Cereal Killers to act as part of the team. We destroyed you, and you get a forfeit victory. Terrible.
This weeks MVP doesn’t exist. Total team effort. And I love it. Keep bringin’ it! This is solid. Rock solid. And speaking of Rock….
Finally, finally, and finally we get our opportunity to settle this name dispute. This will be a beatdown of epic proportions. And Waka Shame…. You. Will. Lose. I have talked to a few of you on this team, and you guys are all nice. I like you guys a lot. But, I just want you guys to understand that your name klepto of a captain has wrote a check that his ass can’t cash. Also, we will defend the honor of our comrades, Kids in Rehab, who were defeated by these goons earlier in the season. Hip Hip for the real, and the original Walk of Shame!! Hip Hip for the real Texas Live division!!
Apologies to Howard Dean…


Relax and Let It Happen

(Mark’s write-up has been forfeited due to using words ineligible for WAKA.)


Red Rockets


Someone told me the other day that they are training for a marathon and I told them that I play kickball – a real sport, I’m not trying to be the best at exercising.

Did anyone else notice that Lois wasn’t there last Thursday? I know she is on vacation but I could have sworn I could still hear her yelling DUNDER from several states away.

Balls Toward the Wall is a cool team and it was a close game but the Red Rockets pulled off the W.  Coach Jay came off the injured reserve list for his first whack at a kickball.

Jay got peed on by Winnie the wiener dog as she was trying to lose some weight for the wiener dog races last weekend.  Also, Harley the Great slipped out of her collar and ran crazy on the field in the third which made for a much needed beer break.  Some ladies were also popping a squat behind the trees, maybe because the toilet was overflowing.

By the way, since everyone is still very confused on which field is “tree” and “power”, I move to rename the field’s “parking lot” and “overflowing toilet”.

The Red Rockets are ready for the playoffs!



It happened again. We played another game without bunting. Although this time around we didn’t agree to it, but were rather conned into going buntless by a persuasive young lady with a cool hat. She had a perfectly logical reason for determining the style of the game, so we couldn’t argue. Despite our morbid addictions, Freebasers are quite logical folk. Anyway, we still won the game 2-1 despite some great play from our opponents, who apparently deemed it magic hat day. Once again, a good stash of our team was lost somewhere between Hamsterdam and a pawn shop, but we still played valiantly without a full field of fiends. Courtney wins basehead of the game honors with stout defense at first base and a hilariously unnecessary tag of an oncoming runner. Looking forward to another fun week feeding the kicball addiction. Who got the lighta”!



We beat ourselves..  And so did Relax. Disappointing anyway you slice it.

If I may, though, get just one jab in:  Relax proved to be the kids when you were young that played Operation and touched their fingers to the board to balance the otherwise buzzing tweezer.

I keed. All in good fun. We would like to play yall again sometime.. Great job to our Chupa players for taking the W in flipcup! And to Scott and I taking the King of the Hill battle down to represent Chupa! You were on fire, boy!

Best of luck to everyone in this last week and the playoffs!


WAKA Shame Bunt Pirates


We won, we won, we won…sorry to rub it in, but it felt like months since we had one a game…Maybe it had been?  Anywho, great playing by everyone and glad to see some confidence back on the field. I would like to personally thank the ladies on my team for always being good sports and always coming out there with their game faces. For now, everyone bow their head, and thank the Lord for Andre talking shit and losing this Thursday…It was very sweet of him. So, see yall out there and Andre, prepare yourselves.


You Look Like I Need A Drink


We played Sugar Lumps.  We lost.  We are sad.

On to flip cup:

WE ONLY BROUGHT TWO DUDES TO THE BAR.  Adam, our soon to be bearded again friend, decided he would help us in our endeavor to revenge our misery.  There are now three of us ready for flip cup.

Maybe somewhere in the world of reading things no one else thought to… way deep in the catacombs of “why would you waste time with this?”… there might be some mention of needing a full team of 5 to officially compete in flip cup…. BUT I am here to refute this.

Specific mention was made as to “is this official?”  I, our fearless captain, knew the correct response was “of course!  we play for keeps!!”  I repeated this over and over until I was certain we were on for a match I could be proud of.

Three –vs- Five.  Lets do this thing, right?  Ok.  We win.  In four games.  It was glorious.  Too much beer.  So much fun.  And I’m happy.  Kids now have hope that they, too, can accomplish the impossible.  I’m pretty sure someone cured AIDS because they felt so inspired.

But wait?  What is this?  A ruling?  A complaint.  Sugar says no dice.  Didn’t count.  YLLINAD loses.   Maybe that’s how it just has to be.  You can apologize to the kids now, Sugar, because I’m not gonna.



Cereal Killers

Augie Garrido talks about winning each inning of a game.  We did that Thursday, we won the first four innings.  But we lost the 5th inning and the game.  Augie Garrido is full of sh!t.  This week I’m going to try some things from other great managers.  Dusty Baker has his toothpick, Jim Leyland smokes a pack a day, Lou Pinella throws bases and kicks dirt.  So look for me with a cigarette in one side of my mouth, a toothpick in the other and duck cause I’m going to be chucking bases left and right.

On a positive note, this week we spotted our opponent a 2-0 lead at the Flip Cup table and we came chugging back to win 3-2.  That’s for Jenn and Vivek who were out last week.  Even without our 4-5 drinkers, the heart of the order, we still rolled.  THAT’s the mark of a champion.

**Editor’s note:  Cameron, I challenge you to go for the Phillip Wellman strategy:




Dunder ResERECTION and Sex and the City played a fun, competitive, bunt-filled game.  Mendoza drove Brooke home for the game-winning RBI in the bottom of the fifth.  Too many exciting defensive plays by the Dunders to recount here.  Mad props to Kristen for playing injured and Ryan for helping with lineup. It was nice to see Star show up and cheerlead. I think we forfeited flip cup.

Dunder ResERECTION Draft Analysis:

Eddie has very good upside. He has a very strong arm, good size and adequate height. In other words, the sky’s the limit for Eddie. Our concern is that he lacks elite intangibles. This is problematic when you look at the situation in Dunder. The best-case scenario is Eddie winds up as the Dunders’ franchise left fielder for years to come. In order for that to happen, however, the Dunders need to bring him along slowly and that’s going to prove difficult. If they rush him, the Dunders risk losing out on their investment.

Ryan has the quick first step and the athleticism to be extremely effective catching the ball in the outfield. He also displays great balance along with strong closing burst when in pursuit from the backside. One of the concerns we have about him includes his being light in the hips, which may cause him to struggle when caught in phone-booth situations with bigger bunters.

We place a high value on competitiveness when we evaluate kickballers and Gerald is clearly the most determined base-runner in this class. He runs with an attitude and can run over or make defenders miss when he gets into the open field. Although Gerald ran a disappointing 40 time (4.62) at the combine he has outstanding quickness and he reaches his top-end speed in a flash.

Kristen‘s greatest strength is her ability to defend the bunt. She locates the ball quickly, is strong enough to set the edge and she is a big kicker who makes good contact. There’s also a lot to like about her range and motor.

Ben displays great strength and comes from a wrestling background, which allows him to play with great balance. He also possesses the necessary ability to sink his hips and reset his feet when going up against bigger pitchers, and he shows excellent hand use.

Brooke possesses rare and dynamic open-field capabilities. She runs with a low center of gravity, which allows her to get in and out of her cuts effortlessly. She also shows an elite burst and has the acceleration to take it the distance. Although Brooke will need some tweaking with her base-running her overall athleticism is too much to pass up at this point.

Felipe is the best pure shortstop in his class. He’s fluid changing directions, shows great burst coming out of his cuts and is fast enough to run down base-runners. Felipe is more than a one-dimensional player, too. He’s a playmaker and can defend the bunt when he puts his mind to it. So why didn’t he come off the board earlier? There are questions about his work ethic and teams were likely wondering if he would to play to his ability.

Tim gained 14 pounds between the combine and his pro day and that is reason for concern. However, we still believe he has the ability to make an immediate contribution. He doesn’t have great initial quickness, but he shows good footwork getting in and out of his breaks, and he isn’t going to get pushed around by bunters. Tim also flashes fly-trap hands and the ability to make spectacular catches. His catch during last season’s playoffs was one of the year’s most impressive.

Mendoza has a nice blend of size, hands and better-than-expected top-end speed. Although he’s a bit raw in his base-running, Mendoza has the potential to develop into the big-play kicker the Dunders desperately need.

Although Julie plays with a mean streak she lacks ideal lower-body strength, so she has some problems holding up when teams bunt at her when she’s lined up on the inside. She also has the quickness and motor to get to first base on occasion.


Kids in Rehab



So close but no cigar…Kids lose 2-1.

So same story, different team.  We were able to negotiate no bunting to this bunt away team.  How is that possible when told it’s unlikely they’d go for it?  Paper, Rock, Scissors!!!  Best way to determine, how it’d go down.

We had a different tactic this time as well as our entire 16 person squad.  We had a theme, hat theme that is and we had a bottle of vodka that was empty way before the game even started. So what do we do after that???  Derek buys like 30 jello shots!  Thanks for supporting your Kids and the kids in need of shoes!!!!  Hats off to Jon “Speedy Gonzalez” Wagner – not only did he wear the giant Sombrero, he played in it AND almost scored a run!

Regardless, from shiny ears, bada$$ fadoras, cowboy hats, caps and rooster pimp hats, fun was had by the Kids even baby, Maria still roots for us.



Game 8’s


–Thursday, April 30th–

Tree:  Cereal Killers v. Balls Toward the Wall
Power:  Balls Deep v. El Chupacabra

Tree:  Relax and Let it Happen v. Red Rockets
Power:  Kids in Rehab v. Dunder ResERECTION

Tree:  Walk of Shame v. WAKA Shame
Power:  FUPA’s v. Sex in the City

Tree:  You Look Like I Need a Drink v. Freebasers
Power:  Sugarlumps v. Sweat n’ Balls


Here’s a look ahead at what’s next!!!

Mid-Season Sunday Funday………….. May 3rdPlay-offs………………………….May 7th and 14th

Texas Tourney…………………………….May 30th

Scavenger Hunt……………………………June 6th

Pick-up Game for Summer…………….June 11th

Summer season starts…………………. June 18th

See everyone on the fields!!

...and there's more where this came from!

...and there's more where this came from!

WAKA Live – Week 7, but actually 3.. is anyone counting anyway??

April 22, 2009
they're with lusto :)

they're with lusto 🙂


yes, he's back

yes, he's back


Good to see packed fields and what I heard, a great bar turnout. Thanks, as usual, for everyone coming out, having fun and playing your favorite sport (choose from kickball or flip cup). I had to go to a friends bachelor party and had to miss out on the bar, but an insider said it was “debauchery at its best…” Thats what I like to hear. I even got word that we had an individual retaste the beer he had engulfed in the previous flip cup games. I look forward to reading his (Relax’s) write up for the week. They may hold their own on the field, but look to be having trouble holding their own at the bar. Pick up the slack Mr. Meroney.

Also, we have two people joining the league Board; Grant from You Look Like I Need a Drink and Alana from Sweat N Balls. Welcome them with open arms, legs, or just give them a kiss. Either way, welcome guys and look forward to working with you.

On a similar note, we are also looking for another prospective President of the league. No, I am not stepping down as President, but next season will look a little different than this one. Between returning teams and new teams, we are going to surpass the WAKA limit for the amount of teams in a single league. Due to that, we are splitting the league into two divisions. Cameron will still overlook both leagues as a whole and I will be running the “Capital” division, but what we are looking for is a President to take over the current “Live” division.

If you are interested in getting involved come find me or Cameron at the fields and we can set up a time to meet up and “interview” you. Don’t worry you don’t have to of been a CEO or on the Board of a Fortune 500 company, just a have high school diploma (or GED if that’s your style), a good/motivated attitude and a love for the great sport of kickball. Cameron and I look forward to hearing from some of yall.

I have officially typed way too much and need a nap. With that said, I hope you had a wonderful week/weekend and look forward to seeing all your pretty faces out there this thursday. Yall take care now and have a good’n.

Rock, Out


Flip Cup People,

First of all, awesome showing at the bar! I think almost every team was there and ready to party. You guys are way fun and I heart you all. One little administrative note… Please coordinate amongst yourselves to find out if the team that you played is at the bar and if they are going to play flip cup. I will also try and figure it out, but when I am doing that, it stalls the games and everything gets all bogged down. Thank you in advance for your help!


Relax vs Kids in Rehab: Relax wins. For those of your fortunate enough to have missed it, please give Meroney a high five for being the first one to actually projectile vomit during a flip cup game. I am absolutely horrified still.

Balls Deep vs Walk of Shame : Walk OF Shame takes this one. Way to show up and come out strong. I like it.

Cereal Killers vs Red Rockets : Red Rockets wins this match up. This one is my bad, I started the game before the full Jen trifecta was ready. Next week I will have my shit together.

FUPA vs You Look Like I Need a Drink : YLLINAD takes another one. This is an avid group of alcoholics and I never cease to be impressed.

WAKA vs Sugarlumps : Sugarlumps both on the field and in Flip Cup. Time to get it together WAKA!!

Sweat N Balls vs Sex in the City : Sweat n Balls in a very rowdy (read, loud) way.

El Chupacabra
vs Freebasers : El Chu takes this one on a no show from Freebasers. I give Freebasers a lot of crap because you never participate, but thank you to Mark and to our new friend in the striped headband for helping to ref at the fields. That was nice.

Dunder vs Balls Toward the Wall : Balls to the wall…. My lovely assistant Jen reffed this one as it is hockey playoffs… WTF Elicious, what happened here?!

Thanks again for your enthusiasm… Season is winding down and the race is on to lock in the seeds for the tournament. Also, please keep your eyes and ears open for information on our mid-season party… Details coming soon.




Sooo, it looked really cloudy and gross on Thursday and we were pretty sure kickball was going to be rained out. We made no jello shots. EPIC party fail and we are sorry! This week we will be in full force and it looks like there will be a variety of flavors/liquors to choose from. Find us at the fields with your dolla dolla bills!

yes this is actually pudding, but you get the drift!

~ Danielle

Basic RGB

Yawn, Relax wins again.  Maybe we need to think out of the box.  What about spiking their drinks?  Going all Nancy Kerrigan and clubbing their knees?  I digress…  WAKA Shame continues their race to the bottom and YLLINAD is rising just as fast.

1. Relax and Let it Happen. “Best ever?”  [Juggernaut and Team America and Betty Fords might have something to say]  “Someone stop them please!”
2. Walk of Shame. “Someone needs to make them take that walk.”  “Two in the 5th to tie and baiting the other team into a rundown in the 7th.  Man’s game.”
3. Freebasers. “Young rookies with speed, no pun intended.”  “Smoked a good Chupacabra team.  Wonder if they got high off that?”
4. Red Rockets. “They made cereal soggy.”  “Inconsistency is worrisome.”
5. You Look Like I Need a Drink. “Freebasers, Red Rockets, FUPA’s.  That’s some good skins on the wall.”  “You Look Like you’re playing better.”
6. Cereal Killers. “Stalking their next victim, close your blinds.”  “Would probably do better in a ‘bowl’ system than a playoff.”
7. El Chupacabra. “Way to turn a season around.”  “That was a clinic about how NOT to play kickball.  Hope they got it all out of their system.”
8. Balls Toward the Wall. “Jonah is hot.”  “Should recruit a team of 100% lefties.”
9. Balls Deep. “Dominated for 4.5 innings.” “That defense is stout, but you can’t win every game by one run.”
10. Kids in Rehab. “Great job holding Relax down, better than anyone else so far.”  “Dube is hot.”
11. Sugar Lumps. “My Lumps, my lumps, my lovely Sugar Lumps.”  “Last week was nuts, can they make it two straight?”
12. Dunder ResERECTION. “They need a resurrection after that one.”  “For such a LOUD team, they went down awfully quietly.”
13. Sweat n Balls. “Maybe they just really love sex?”  “Say what you want, but a win is a win.”
14. FUPA’s. “No core work can rid them of their fupas.”  “If they only played four innings a game they’d have a great record.”
15. WAKA Shame. “Hahahahahahahahahahahaha.”  “They wear their last name well.”
16. Sex and the City. “Sex and Balls don’t mix.”  “Hopefully they are better at their name sake than kickball.”





Relax and Let It Happen


Hey Minnie, I guess three fingers works right?  As in the three runs we put on your dome last night.  Wasn’t this supposed to be a tough game?  After negotiating a no bunts game, we played what has to be the shortest, least exciting kickball game ever.  I believe our opposition had one baserunner.  I’d like to suggest reducing the amount of players a defense can field to nine if there is no bunting because I don’t want to bat in the first inning, then tie my shoes and pee in the woods and all the sudden it is the bottom of the fourth.  Jay was diabolical from the mound apparently with the aforementioned Kids in Rehab offense (or lack thereof).  Joey also launched another satellite that they were prepared for, kudos to your scouting department that we have the big guy who kicks it 75 feet farther than anyone else has ever contemplated.  We got some runs from the top of our lineup and Chris finally got pegged on one of his infamous baserunning displays.

Now for the funny part.  As has been a nagging trend, our girls all collectively opted out of Jovita’s.  To be honest, none of us wanted to play flip cup that bad either except for Jay whose enthusiasm was palpable.  So much so he bought our team Dos Equis to drink while playing flip cup.  This was after everyone but Jay just put down a full meal from Jovita’s (I recommend the food by the way, keep that in mind…).  Well I was full about to my esophagus but no excuses play, like a champion so I played some flip cup.  We rolled early but after watching Ty choke in the 3rd game I made the executive decision that I was going to need to clear some space.  At this point I vomited gratuitously in front of a crowd.  Punk or be punked.  After some extreme laughter and I’m sure varying levels of nausea from our opponents, we took the 4th game of our series and sealed the victory.  You could even say the puking was a gamesmanship tactic, as I doubt they were thinking of anything but how gross what I just did was.  Sometimes you just have to go that extra mile for your teammates…




Thankfully the rain gods got stuck in traffic long enough for us get our kickball fix for the week. Despite only 10 Freebasers showing up (the rest of the fiends must have passed out in a dark alley somewhere, or got lost trying to pawn some copper wire) we still played an outstanding game! Probably the best all around session of the season so far. Everyone stepped up when it mattered most.

Props to Darron for some clutch city kicking and sticky-finger handiwork at first base. Respect to Brandon for his hustle and hip red lifeguard shorts from high school. Much love to Lauren for her hot pink-striped knee-highs. And thanks to Katie Neal for deciding to get out of bed and show up to the game. Everyone else, you’re cool too.

With the playoffs upon us, all we can say is the rest of y’all better watch your backs. Because there’s nothing more dangerous than a bunch of Freebasers with nothing to lose! Who got the lighta’!



I ain't too proud!

Ya know, one day most all of you will look back and say, I was somewhere else when Walk of Shame defeated Balls Deep. Some of you at Jovita’s. Others of you at the other field, watching two other boring teams play a boring game (looking at you Relax and Rehab). And for that, your lives will forever be incomplete. Oh well. The other 22 of us will always have the memories.

  • A GIRL kicking the ball over Kia’s head.
  • Watching Kia run under the ball as it sailed over his head.
  • Throwing some fool out at the plate thinking he had a home run.
  • Coming back in bottom of the 5th from two runs down to take it to extra innings.
  • Miya’s shoestring catch at thirdbase!

And no one will ever forget Jorge’s crazy play. He rounds 1st base and getting caught in a rundown, creating a diversion so Mizzy could score at home behind the teams back and take the game in the bottom of the 7th inning. At the end of the day, Walks win.

Chest bump!!


Co-MVP’s of the Millenium: Jorge and Mizzy. These two will forever go down as legends in the Walk of Shame franchise.
Honorable Mention: Miya. What a catch. You’re on the verge of being a superstar, and nobody even knows it yet

Then we got our swagger back in flip cup, 3-0. I think the next step is to finally settle the score with the team who had the cult meeting after our game, Balls Toward the Wall. And I’ll sweeten the pot. If you guys beat us, ill buy your whole team a round. What do ya say?

This weeks game should be very loud… We play Sweat n Balls. Early prediction…. Walks win 8-1.

Holler if you hear me,



Kids in Rehab


We played very well last night.  3-0 to the 2 time defending CAPITAL champs is very impressive.  There were great plays on both teams.  We had 2 base runners all night (Jon and Will).  Our defense was solid.  Kim made a great catch and double play.   Steve took a catch in right center that slapped him in the face. Zach had an awesome catch that prevented a sure homerun.  Jon threw the guy out  just a few steps from home plate that thought he could turn a single into a homerun.   Relax also won the close match in flip cup but at least our team member didn’t puke what looked like oatmeal then put a plant to cover it up.  Ew…

Basically it’s like comparing apples to oranges.  If the Celtics played the Tar Heels, you would expect the Celtics to win since they are NBA champs and Tar Heels are NCAA champs. Or if the Gators played the Steelers same outcome!!   Well that is what we had last night when KIR (4 time LIVE champ) went up against Relax and Let it Happen (2 time Capital champ).  They were expected to win and did win. Congratulasians on your victory.  LIVE and CAPITAL were separate for a reason and once that happens again we will be back where we belong.

We’ve gone around Austin, TX and have a signed petition to bring back the real LIVE!




I’m a little late writing this so feel free to skim over my less than witty banter.  We played Fupa.  We had fun.  This I know.

It was the battle of defenses out there as we were 0-0 going into the top of the 5th.  Some mentions before I get into the glory of this inning include:

  • Krystel getting on base.  Not sure how it happened, but my heart was glad.
  • We stuck by our guns and all got thoroughly intoxicated.  Except for a few losers who don’t really matter in the long run always… because they’re losers.
  • Greg didn’t show up again.  That guy is the Enigma for so many reasons.  Be weary of him if you meet him.
  • Our girls rule.  Not sure what they did to deserve that, but I think they rule.

End of Flashback… Stupid Acid trip… Always messes up my gmot write-ups..

So it’s the top of the 5th.  Our fearless captain steps up to the plate and he looks really really sexy.  I… I mean “he” gets on base, probably by some fuddle… who knows.  Adam’s up next, another on base.. I slid for no apparent reason but have a cool pic to prove how manly I am.  Im sorry but I dont know who else got on base.  We scored four runs.  Stellar defense kept them to 1 run in the the bottom of the 5th and YLLINAD is on a killer streak.

(really grant? its like a papercut compared to kate's..)

(really grant? its like a papercut compared to kate's..)

Bar… Flip Cup… One and done… Thanks to the fupas for being both fun and reminding me of the grossest party of anaotamy I can possibly think of.



Cereal Killers


WTF?  In the 1st inning, we had the bases loaded, no outs, and managed one run.  Then we had them two outs, nobody on base, and they rallied two separate times and scored.  Suddenly we’re dead, 4-1.  I still don’t know how it happened, and then we threw up in our own mouths at Flip Cup, gave away a 2-0 lead.  We tried to figure out what happened, but other than channeling our inner Chicago Cubs we got nothing.

Hats off to Pugs, scoring on his birthday.  That’s two straight weeks now, we just get folks lucky on their special days.  Jenn and Vivek rocked out the offense, both perfect.

We have things straightened out this week.  I’ve instituted a vigorous training program involving different cups, different beers and multiple repetitions.  We’re going to have to win two Flip Cup matches on Thursday to make up for it.  We’re going to make the other team’s livers cry.  We’re going to redeem ourselves and stand up on the table and shout…  Wait, there’s a kickball game too?  Screw it, we’ll figure that out as we go.



What. A. Game.

Happy birthday again to our old men, Adam & Lusto.. Lusto didn’t play and I’d bet that Adam doesn’t remember. Although a terrible loss and slap of reality on our steady climb up the ladder, we had a blast. Especially those that started the party early with us, good times! Games of washers and grilling out followed by tequila shots.. Ahh,  a winning combination… if we won the game. Maybe it was all that distracting Freebaser talk of “grab the foil, you’re up to kick” and “lighta’ ” nonsense… Hey bet ya can’t guess who won flipcup??

Also this week, happy early birthday to Ryan and Dos, and by Dos I mean Drew Holst. Drew Holst. Drew Holst. (Look! Your name made it in here THREE times! Big man on campus you..)

This week, the time has come. We take on Relax. (GASP!) The kickball Gods can’t postpone this one any longer. I’d like to challenge my team to grab this game by the balls and win that bottle of whiskey. There has been no one yet.

relax, we're rabid and on the loose

relax, we're rabid and on the loose



It was just splendid(!) ending the evening with a big 6-0 win, followed by killing the jug of Sangria. Personally, I think Dunder was blown away by Joe’s mad base running skills. Our team captain made several strategic moves, involving several forms of trickery. It was a rather rowdy game, with screams heard all around, but only mainly from Dunder. To[ward] the Window…



WAKA Shame Bunt Pirates


Well, we lost….AGAIN. This time to a winless team. Makes me feel even better. But, enough reminding myself of how my team played. Now, I have to congratulate the beautiful Sara Moore and her group of misfits for a great game. They battled it out to the end and got the W. I hope to see them prosper through the rest of the season and hope hell freezes over and they put it to Relax for a victory. Good luck Sugarlumps, I wish yall the best.



Before I get to the good stuff, I think a shout-out to Mary is in order.  She definitely ROCKED the game day jersey!!!!
As far as the game went, well…. I can not believe that Sweat and Balls’ two wins are against one of the most underrated teams in WAKA!  Lucky?  Just maybe!  SITC definitely has their act together but we just seem to keep missing out on key scoring opportunities.  OUR TIME IS DUE!!  Play-Off time is near.  With two games left in the regular season I think we need a new strategy.

For every run our opponents score, SITC will take a shot as a team.  I hope the charity shots are plentiful.  If not, I hope everyone enjoys tequila!

Ooooh. I can’t forget to mention Bernie.  We officially have our very first addition to the Injured Reserved List.
With an heroic attempt to make an all-star play, Bernie blew out his knee.  OUCH!!!   It’s okay, he went down in good fashion.

As for flip cup, let’s give props to the good guys.  Tara, Mary, Mandy and Darren.  I thought Mark was in attendance but
some would have their own opinions.  We had a two-round surge dominating S&B.  I honestly don’t think they made it down their entire line.  Oh well, I guess they had the luck of the Irish taking us the remaining three rounds.  I personally was distracted/disrupted by someone on the opposing team.  Anything to win, right?



See you all on the fields for our last regular season game!

(Remember, week 3 on the schedule..)


Don’t forget to bring your dolla’ bills…

Bill Cosby wants you to buy and consume jello and help those rugrats!!

more pictures on our Facebook page... upload your own!

more pictures on our Facebook page... upload your own! Just don't ask about this...

WAKA Live – Week 6

April 15, 2009




Flip Cuppers,

Thank you for a very solid turn out at the bar. After a two week hiatus (damn you work), it was wonderful to see your lovely, if not a little sloppy, faces. Thank you again to my fabulous co-refs, Elicious, Jen and Lacy for stepping up in my absence.

Stats for this week:

Relax v. Balls to the Wall: Relax wins. I missed this match up but I saw some Relax action in later games so I can only imagine.

Sex and the City v. Balls Deep: SATC scores! This team also came out huge for charity this week. Bravo to you!!

Waka Shame v. KIR: Waka gets a point. Even Steve’s return couldn’t help the kids.

Freebasers aka SuperLame v. Sugar Lumps: Yey for Sugar Lumps!

Fupa v. Chupa: This team was still partying with their keg when we left the fields at 9pm. There was a lot of talk of kegstands and the costumes were amazing so I give you both a point, and a huge amount of respect.

Dunder v. Walk of Shame: DUUUUUNDER. Nice work!

Cereal Killers v. Sweatn Balls: The Jen trifecta was in full effect sweeping a win for McNabb’s birthday!

Red Rockets v. YLLINAD: You look like….. You look like you win!

~ Danielle




Again, you all rock!! This week we actually sold out before the first game was even over! Lesson learned, I will double the recipe so that those playing the later games don’t miss out. Thanks again, I think we are pretty close to hitting out season goal of $300 which is awesome considering we still have quite a few games as well as a tournament to get through. Do we think we can hit $500?? Mixing it up this week with a little Malibu… Find me and Lacy on Thursday…

What’s Friday without a killer kickball hangover?!

~ Danielle



Where’s your writeup Rock?? I’m too busy to remind you and have no mercy at the moment. Yes, Freebasers will forever be on this list until they show to Jovita’s and try to be social with the rest of the league.. But really, step it up Prez!!

That is all. On to the fun stuff…


Basic RGB

Relax triples their runs allowed… and still wins by eight.  You Look Like I Need a Drink and Balls Deep continue their winning ways and FUPA gets Chupacabraed.

Great guest quote from an actual team this week:  “Another ‘W’ in the win column!” Um, what?

1. Relax and Let it Happen. “Someone needs to win the bottle of whiskey on the line [bounty for beating Relax.]”  “Six runs allowed in five games = impressive.”

2. Walk of Shame. “Andre’s practices three times a week seem to be working.”  “Three wins by one run?  I thought good teams blew people out?”

3. Cereal Killers. “Cam’s team at #3?  I call BS.”  “Fruit Loops must have steroids in it.”

4. El Chupacabra. “Solid ‘D’ and their wench is an ultra hottie.”  “We’ll see if it keeps going their way [playing Freebasers this week].”

5. WAKA Shame. “Nice recovery after getting brutalized by Relax.”  “I smell another letdown against a good and desperate Sugar Lumps team.”

6. Freebasers. “Bunting IS their bag, baby.”  “Baby got bunt.”

7. You Look Like I Need a Drink. “Shut out the Rockets, guess they don’t like dog penises either.”  “Three straight, look out for these guys and dolls.”

8. Red Rockets. “They need to stand up and scream something absurd, make a name for themselves, SOMETHING.”  “Good game this week [v. Cereal Killers] we’ll get to see which team is for real.”

9. Balls Deep. [classic debate offense v. defense] “Has anyone on this team even kicked the ball deep?  16 runs in five games?” “Ten runs allowed, 2nd best in the league.  If defense really DOES win championships, look out.”

10. Balls Toward the Wall. “Credit for giving Relax their best game of the year.”  “I’m going to blame that one on Josh being out, he’s worth at least five runs.”

11. Kids in Rehab. “Have they had a full team once this year?”  “Was that a ghost pitching for them?”

12. Dunder ResERECTION. “Their first base person is a crazy woman.”  “My personal favorite team and darkhorse for the playoffs.”

13. FUPA’s. “The dream matchup was their worst nightmare.”  “Those costumes were freaking amazing.  And disturbing [Eric.]”

14. Sugar Lumps. “They take their lumps then drink.”  “These folks and Sex are proud and are going to beat someone down before the season is out.”

15. Sex and the City. “There is more to modeling than just being ridiculously good looking.” “Calling it right now, they get their first W this week over Sweat n Balls.”

16. Sweat and Balls. “Great six innings against Cereal Killers, then rolled craps.”  “That defense has tightened up the last two weeks.”


And now for the actual rankings…



Relax and Let It Happen


For the first time in my kickball career, I took the field without the accompaniment of Jay Russell.  He had to miss the game to catch a Jonas Brothers concert I think, not totally sure though just know it was something along those lines.  Anyways, I took the mound with my contrasting style, working quickly and quietly.  After a ROCKY first inning where “we” (I) allowed more runs than we had allowed so far this season, we found our groove when Smashley and Cyclone decided to join the party so we could field a full defensive lineup.  The most memorable play of the game had to be Joey kicking the ball what seemed like 250 feet on the fly with a slight fade and a helping wind (some Masters talk for you).  It was majestic to say the least, I think he could have cartwheeled from 3rd to home and been safe by ten seconds.  Next I would like to acknowledge Chris for his dastardly base-running with zero remorse.  It is rare that someone scores and our teammates withhold high fives from them but you never know when it is going to be the difference-making-play in the game.

Flip cup was a return to glory for us.  We made quick work of our opponents by winning three straight and when I left the bar I believe we were still teaching lessons at the table.  Looks like everyone finally had enough of getting punked.  Speaking of getting punked, I got punked by a red snapper shot.  This oak pollen has produced a hell of a cough so anything I try to drink or inhale quickly results in a hearty cough, like the kind that might send red snapper liquid all over my teammates at Jovita’s.  Rest assured, there was no vomit (not that I am above it but just want to be clear here) involved but I still apologize for my party foul.  Also, in case the rest of the league doesn’t know I will let you in on a little secret: chicks DIG shouting matches about college football in April, trust me about 10% of the time…it works every time.


I ain't too proud!

While Dunder will focus on their domination of Shame in flip cup, we will address kickball where we are seemingly the second-best thing going today. To be fair, the resERECTION was a real stiff test (no pun intended). They will shock some people in the playoffs. You heard it here first.  About the flip cup game… we need more veteran participation. When our lineup is at optimal strength, Dunder stands no chance. But when you throw in the two rookies and a first-time flip cup player (Mizzy this is the excuse we are making up for you), miracles can happen. I guess the sun does shine on a dog’s ass every now and again.

Anyway, this week was pretty bad for Shame. No real MVP to speak of… Yeah, like none at all. HOWEVER, we do have an LVP! Our Least Valuable Player this week goes to Chris Sobremonte! You missed kickball for tennis. May God have mercy on your soul. Your lack of being in the outfield almost cost us the game, you freaking slimeball. All your fault. Speaking of… LVP Honorable Mention goes to Chris H’s defense in the outfield… Were you drunk out there? Wow. I’ll blame it on the alcohol.


Balls Deep (the artists formerly known as Soul Train) has a lot of payback coming their way after their upset of the century against us last season in the playoffs. Last season was a fluke. (Refer to picture above….) Walks will win 6-2.




In a word? Epic.


Epic all around. The costumed game of kickball was a blast any way you slice it. Thanks to the FUPAs for an excellent idea and for hauling in a keg of DosEquis! Muchas gracias, we owe you plenty of beers. (After 3 kegstands I was too drunk to give you my money.. someone remind me I’m not in college anymore!..)

Now for something completely different..

“Chupa the FUPA” Superlatives:

Most creative costume: Gotta be a three-way-tie between the Steinbacher siblings and Kate really.. GREAT costumes. Adam’s Mad Scientist gets extra points for including consumable & alcoholic, green mystery fluid in a test tube! And Sarah’s “Frodo Lives” number was outstanding!

Hottest costume: Hands down. Amanda, our Beer Wench. You scored wearing a bustier!!

Best use of costume: Tie between Lusto with his gripping Mario hands, and Drewzilla using his Wolverine hand-blades(?) to scratch Ryan’s back..

Most shocking costume: Dos. We were all surprised when he stripped off his pressed Polo and Dockers to reveal Princess Toadstool herself. Classy!

Most misunderstood costume: Kate Talbot, the Black Eyed Pea. (Andre from Walks thought she was a dalmation..?!)

Notable mentions: Old school Chris and the funky ‘fro! Jesse’s last minute Christmas bear shoved in his pants.. whats new? Ryan’s fried chicken accessory, which made it all the way to home! Our Mexican soccer player Scott kicked ass! Plus all the fantastic costumes of the FUPAs–too many to mention!–but Best in Show, hands down, was Lisa 🙂

BRAVO to everyone for dressing up! Awesome game. Other than that, I’ll let the pictures tell the rest..

This week: We take on the Freebasers.. At least we can look forward to another flip cup win!



Red Rockets


A very wise kickballer once told me “it doesn’t matter if you win or lose, its how you celebrate!” After an impressive start to the season the only good thing the Red Rockets tallied last Thursday was the number of beers and Tequila shots we drank.



8-Ball, something us Freebasers are quite familiar with, is exactly what we were working with this past Thurs as we strung out a strong win. With half the team hunting down the the mystical Easter Bunny, a posse of 8 was all we had in our stash.  Everyone got a piece of the action as the Freebasers smoked the competition.

Blunts and bunts forever – who got the lighta.


Cereal Killers

Before I get to the exploits of our team, I need to write a retraction.  Last week, I wrote about how our squad valiantly battled a bunch of Cougars while I was away.  I would like to amend that.  On April 9th, the Cereal Killers forged a hard fought tie with a bunch of hot PUMAS and BOBCATS, not Cougars.  Thank you.

Now, onto the happenings.  To the eight brave souls from Sweat n’ Balls:  Hell of a game.  Y’all were all over the place on defense, you scored your runs legit, and you made us earn everything.  Good game and y’all made us sweat.

Whole team defensive effort, truly.  Twice they had the winning runs on in the 5th and 6th, and we escaped and let our offense have a chance.  Really, everyone made the plays they should have made, error-free night, I’m proud.

On offense, we finally got it going in the 7th.  To get us there, Neal drove one in and scored the tying run on Josh’s ball.  Then Neal drove in the game winner on a perfectly placed 9 iron.  Jenn Suchon had a perfect kick to keep the rally going.  Josh and Amy and Whitney and Jen McNabb kept it going in the 7th and Rick closed it out.  Jen scored again, two weeks running, and she told me that kickball made it her best birthday ever.

Last but not least, a long overdue shout out for our Flip Cuppers.  Undefeated last year, almost completely new team this year, and only one loss.  On Thursday, Jen H, Jen M, Jenn, Vivek and Rick dominated Relax and Let it Happen.  Like 3-0, 3-0.  Don’t give me that crap about your team not being there, you showed up and you got smoked.  Deal with it.



Kids In Rehab

Dear TX Capital Teams,



TX Live





On Thursday it appeared that all the members of YLLINAD had just escaped from the sober house and were going on a binder worthy of a Mel Gibson break down.  Apparently we have found that our winning is directly correlated to our intoxication, so we have upped the booze intake with glorious results.  I’m not going to lie… I’m a little scared about the next few games.  Scared in a “first-time-playing-7 minutes-in-heaven” way though… so its all good.

The Red Rockets Fake Red Team were amongst the coolest peeps we have encountered to date in our virgin mission into WakaLand.  I’m trying to remember what actually happened during the game.  I know we deciding that simply beating our opponents to the bag was lame and started working on unnecessary “beaming.”  Greg and Jules took matters into their own hands and Jules even scored a single-handed double play.  Our captain, some asshole, yelled at the pitcher to slow down the pitches, only to have her later walk someone and deserve every bit of yelling she received.  Literally one mental flash later, game is over, we came on strong late again, and after some controversy over a call…. What’s that???  WINNING STREAK, BITCHES!

Our commitment to the devil juice continued at the bar.  We were ready to rock when flip cup started.  Greg can’t remember to tap his cup, I’m slowly getting an aneurysm with that thought running constantly through my already nimble brain.  Adam is taking forever and just gives up.  All is redeemed when we win in stunning fashion and I try not to fall over.

Great times, Great Sport, One life shower later and it was Friday morning.





OK, from now on when we win the toss we’re going to take Visitors… we lost this game in the first half of the first inning because we weren’t paying attention. Maybe 8:00 is too late for us? Maybe we’re all just too old, and we can’t go from zero to kickball in five seconds? Maybe we need to introduce ritualistic spanking to wake everybody up? I’m open to suggestions. VERY open.

After we let them just keep running the freaking bases and score two runs, we woke up and started playing really well. Our offense was MUCH improved from last week, mixing it up and getting on base – Tim as always came through with the scoring crusher. Defense was pretty tight –  E’Lois rocked first base, good to have Mendoza at 2nd again, Felipe’s pitching looked nice and bouncy this week. Sadly, no toddlers for Jonathan to save this week. Maybe next week.

So a 3-2 loss, but we played well against a good team, had fun and earned some redemption with a 3-1 flipcup win oh yeah!!!




1 jug of Sangria. 4 hot Tecates. 1 tub of lime sherbert.

All Ball To[ward] the Wall needed against Relax and Let It Happen.
So what if we lost?
The record before us was 1 run against them.
We have broken that record…we got 4 runs. Our goal was to make them nervous, and that, we did. Although we were down valuable players, we still marked our territory…right on their shirts. I hope they washed them at least three times. We’re quite potent.
Final scored? 12[11] – 4.
Let me put EMPHASIS on the rules of kickball. Not that it matters, right? It’s just kickball…
Ball is DEAD, [repeat] DEAD when it is thrown to the pitcher. Just FYI; let’s play by the rules, shall we?
Despite some lack of calls and at some times, [unnecessary] calls, we proved our worth. Perhaps they were thrown off a bit by the slight name change? At any rate, we made ‘Relax and Let It Happen’ more like ‘Nervous That We Let That Happen’…
3 Invisible Game Balls Thrown Out…to good hustle and good sport. The only thing we are worried about now is if any team beats our record against Relax. BEAT 4 RUNS. I DARE YOU.
In response to Walk Of Shame (is that REALLY your name??): the so-called ‘Indian-styled pow-wow’ that you allegedly thought was ‘odd’ was, in fact, quite normal. We just like to gloat amongst each other, and soak up each other’s ‘awesomeness’. It really only aids the team, trust us…we’re balls-y, after all.
To[ward] the window…



Kegstand Jilly!

Kegstand Jilly!

In our drunken kegstandin’ fog, the FUPAcabras think we hazily remember we took 2nd in our game vs. the Cupacabras last Thursday.  And with less than a gallon left in our keg…hiccup, burp, we went over to Jovitas to continue the debauchery!   And to all of those who did not show for the game or Jovitas and for those of us who did but don’t remember…please enjoy the evidence of a damn good time!



Sex & the City



Great week everyone!!

See you Thursday!!